His follow-up to 'Don't Sweat the Small Stuff'.
I found this metaphor - with credit to the author, Dr Carlson Ph.D. - to be relative to many issues facing exiting Jw's, or for other seemingly unmanagable BIG issues in our lives -
.... a story about lions being rescued from a dangerous environment.... The new living environment was "perfect" in every sense of the word. It was full of his natural prey, and water was plentiful. There was natural beauty and safety in every direction. It simply couldn't be improved from the perspective of a lion.
But when the cage was opened, the lion refused to leave.... he would retreat to the back corner. Any attempt to encourage him to walk out toward total freedom was met with an angry and threatening growl. To a lion, what could be worse than being confined to a cage? There is only one thing: his fear of the unknown. He would, literally, rather die in the cage thatn step into the unknown world.
This is a near perfect metaphor. Most of us are like that lion, except that our cages are self-created.
....
In painful situations, the key to increased freedom is to first acknowledge the cage. How can we get out or become free if we don't even know that we are trapped? Although the cage is wrongly described as being safe, it is in reality filled with anguish. Yes it is familiar; but no, it is not safe.
Sometimes, the pain must be almost unbearable before the desire to become free is activated. ... When the pain is awful but somehow bearable, the familiar cage is represented as being safe; it's seen as the way life is/needs to be. It's only when the pain crosses the line and becomes unbearable that action is taken.
I am finding the entire book to be uplifting, encouraging, and prompting peaceful thought for me. I recommend it, though I am generally not attracted to 'self-help' books of the sort. Still, with the BIG STUFF of leaving a controlled environ of a cult facing us, the thinking and objective approach recommended in this book is perhaps just what some need. I have been out for 5 years and have found it to be helpful, though I mostly consider myself re-adjusted on most levels, most of the time. It is good in just general, and obviously was not written for those leaving cults - I just found this metaphor [and much of the rest of what I am reading] to be practical and pragmatic in making adjustments outside of the cult.
Jeff