In what many allege to be the strangest news yet this year, the multi billion dollar religious group known as the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society today settled a billion dollar law suit that alleged practicing medicine without a license, aiding and abedding known fellons, tax evasion, drug trafficking, prostitution, bestiality, serving alcohol to minors, and jaywalking.
When asked for comment, a leader high up in the hierarchy of the WTB&TS who wished to remain anonymous cited new light as the saving grace for the atrocities committed. "Besides," he said, "it's only money."
The anouncement was followed by a mass exodus from the ranks of disgruntled Jehovah's Witnesses who were upset that their leader had talked with a "worldy member of the press." Many of them cited plans to move to Montana and merge with the Mormon faith.
