child abuse issue

by jeffory1 8 Replies latest watchtower child-abuse

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  jeffory1

  A little background about myself will clarify things I think.

  My wife and I raised 3 daughters in the org., 2 are still belivers. The last meeting we attendes as members of a cong. was Dec 3 2001. The process of seeing things for what they really were took a few years motivated by some pretty hard times at the hands of the " most loving people on the earth". Anyway my oldest daughter had a child out of wedlock,who we love dearly, eventually she married a "brother" from Ore. and moved to Portland.

  My wife and I worked overseas for 4 years and during this time they moved to Phoenix Az., everything seemed normal and we also moved there when we returned from our work contract .Last year in Oct. we knew something was wrong and stopped by there home, My daughter broke down sobbing and she told us only some of the story that the husband had been having some sort of inapproriate contact with our granddaughter who was now 14. She would not tell us any details and I can understand that part. She said the elders had started a JC and it was being handled.

  Since we are not going to meetings we have not been privy to the going on's of things but she has not really ostrasized us either. to her credit.This last week mu other daughter called and we talked for some time and she told me more details then I had heard to this point. She said that L...... the husband had been hugging our granddaughter and geeting aroused and then touching.I knew only some of this as I was told that the JC had reproved him publically. By this time my daughter had refused to allow him back in the house. This is where it stands now. Where things get a little strange is that daughter #2 said that our oldest is going to divorce the creep, which is good, and that this would allow her to re marry. She further said that the Society has changed there policy on child abuse and that it constituted grounds for scripturl re marriage. Her husband in an elder and she said that this is what she had been told .

  Anyway can anyone confirm this is so? Also, can any one reccomend some info., books etc. on this subject. There was no report to the authorities and We feel that some counseling is needed.

  Thanks

  Jeffory1
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  wha happened?

  I don't see how there would be a revision, a sexual act outside the marraige has always been one of the acts that could lead to a scriptual divorce. The act including a minor turns it into a sick crime but it's still sex outside the marraige
• 

  Albert Einstein

  Hi Jeffory,

  welcome on the board!

  I am not an elder for several years, so I will not help with possible change of society policy, but I believe the main issue is, if "porneia" took place. Porneia is being defined as "gross sexual immorality" which usually is any kind of sexual intercourse (including oral/anal sex) or mutual masturbation. It also could be a "habit" (repeated action) of touching womans breast. It is not just random petting or something simillar. So the key to the answer is what really happend.

  It surely is a tough situation, hope your daughter will manage the situation well...

  Albert
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  jeffory1

  Yes I know that but from what I was told there was no sex act. Just discussing it makes me angry. As a little girl al she wanted was a "daddy. The bastard took that from her as well.

  Don't get me wrong I want my daughter to eventually remarry but I thought that only some form of intercourse would be allowable grounds for scriptural remarriage and evidentally this did not take place.

  By the way as far as we are concerned she can marry anyone she wants without the WT bullshit rules for allowable remarriage. I was just thrown a curve by my daughters sayint that the WT has expanded porneia to include child abuse {in this case molestation} and that the elders had in fact said she was free to obtain a scriptural divorce.

  Jeffory1
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  rebel8

  ((( jeffory ))) SO very sorry to hear this.

  (There may be something to the modification in remarriage rules. I'm sure one of the scholars will post about it soon. As I recall, homsexual acts on the part of a spouse did not constitute grounds for adultery at one point in time.)

  PS-- Found the elder's handbook section on it: http://www.angelfire.com/mo/flockbook/unit5a.html
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  jamiebowers

  Has anyone called the police and had this dirty bastard arrested?
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  Uzzah

  Jamie:

  That was pretty much my thought as well. Who gives a flying F*** about scriptural rights to remarry. A child has been abused and it was never reported???

  There are more important issues here than whether or not your daughter can re-marry. I am relieved you spoke about counselling and sincerely hope that you can convince your daughter to get your grand daughter into therapy. If the elders and your daughter have not reported this to the police I do strongly urge you to do so yourself.

  This is not just going to disappear due to the public reproof. Pedophiles are repeat offenders. Other children in the neighbourhood and congregation need to be protected against this sick bastard.
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  DJK

  Let me get this straight.

  Father allegedly touches daughter.

  Mother wants divorce. (good move IMO)

  Mother is worried about a "scriptural divorce"?

  Scriptures are just alphabet's formed into word's, composing sentences and placed in a book no one is sure we were ever intended to read. Then translated by any organization any way it desires. In the present world a divorce is granted by the guy in a black robe behind a courtroom bench. Until God comes down and holds that seat, I wouldn't be worried about a scriptural divorce.
• 

  StAnn

  I'm curious why you're concerned with the changing of the rules re: remarriage. Seems like a minor point at a time like this.

  And, yes, at least call Children's Services. They can get a judge to require that your granddaughter receive therapy. This is what had to be done for my neice, as the JW mother and grandparents didn't want her to tell anything to the therapist that might "bring reproach upon Jehovah."

  As a former sexually abused child, I say get your granddaughter some help. These events are going to affect her for the rest of her life and the fact that no one in her family called the police is something she will probably hold against all of you at some point in the future. She'll feel you chose "the Organization" over her. Trust me on this.

  StAnn