I can remember being at many of the CA and DC and hearing those talks about the people that had left the org
and then came back. Usually it was supposedly quoting a handwritten letter that we never got to see or an
Oral statement made by someone or quoting an earlier Watchtower or publication.
And it would usually go something like this:
If only I woulda listened to the Organization I wouldn't got pregnant or contracted AIDS
If only I woulda listened to the Org I wouldn't got lung cancer from smoking (oh and throat cancer too)
If only I wouldn't insisted on my own rights and listened to the Congregation Elders I wouldn't be in prison
If only I paid more attention at the Hall I wouldn't be in a go no-where job (instead I could be at bethel slaving away)
And I'm sure many of you can add to this list and I hope to hear some of them.
But here's my new "If Only" list and its not complete but still working on it:
If only I would read the earlier publications I coulda found out about C.T.Russells involvement with Numerology and Pyramidology
If only I had listened to others when they tried to tell me about Beth Sarim in San Diego,Calif. and J.F.Rutherfords Mansion
If only I knew that 1914 wasn't the first date that was picked for Christ return. (evidently he's returned a lot accordig to WT)
If only I had followed my Dad's advice and went to college (dad wasn't a witness but mom was)
If only I hadn't distanced myself from my non-witness family members considering them bad association according to WT
If only I woulda listened to my conscience and not kept shelving stuff that didn't make sense and instead kept looking for answers
Then and only then would so many things in life that should be,could be and that would be better have been accomplished.
But I guess I can take consolation in the "fact" "truth" "hope" "faith" that soon,very soon, any day now that it will have all
been worth it and I can run with the lions and swim with the sharks, and ride the Elephants and outlive my house that
I build with my own hands and grow younger not older (until I hit about 21 then stop, or was it 30).
Now If Only I knew how to end this
StoneWall