I parked my car near our local Kingdom Hall under that red-and-white sign while I ran in to get some more literature to place with those godless-Whore-of-Bablyon-worshipping church members and demon-worshipping Buddhists and when I came outside the car was gone - just a puddle of oil on the ground and a few pieces of rusty metal... now I know that some demons must have eaten the car to prevent me from going out in service to preach jehover's good news and prevent lotsa people from dying at Armageddon including babies and such...
My car's brakes aren't so good anymore and the tailpipe's broken and the floorboards are rusted out so the exhaust sometimes comes up into the car but that's ok because jehover loves me and protects me
Besides those hot demon babes that suck-you-bus or something like that hang around me.... Thay must like hot cars the Holy Split attracts them and they visit me at night but leave an awful mess - spirit-come in the sheets and they never do laundry like a good Jehover girl would and do what she's tole to do...
Those blasted policemen ar persecuting me and trying to prevent jehover's word from being preached - thats why they want $300 to get my car out of hock which I can't do because I'm spending 100+ hours in service and don't have time to work besides we aren't supposed to care about material possessions but I don't see why jehover won't get the angels to carry me to the territory...
Except the bible says we aren't supposed to test hiM but I've got sore feet and cant wait 'till they're healed in the New Paradise Earth but that podiatrist who would probably try to force me to have a blood transfusion if he got the chance says that I've got fallen arches and bunions and shouldn't be working on my feet and he recommends that I get an office job (the hypocritical materialist!)!!
Only I can't because I was home-skooled and received a very gud educatun due to Jehovers holy guidance and I wouldn't want to work in an office anyway because there will be materialistic influences there and a demon might get me like they got my car....
Zid