So This is X-Mas

by Victor_E 4 Replies latest jw friends

  • Victor_E
    Victor_E

    MY CALL OF DUTY
    So this is Xmas
    And what have you done?

    Back in my JW days I would answer, “I bought and distributed many books and magazines to worldly people who needed conversion”. This year I feel a great deal of satisfaction in knowing that through my efforts, some people chose to live instead of ending their lives prematurely due to their painful existence.

    Another year over
    And a new one just begun
    And so this is Xmas
    I hope you have fun
    The near and the dear ones
    The old and the young

    Having fun is a new concept for me, but one I totally embrace with my whole being. I think back to exotic places I visited this year and the adventures taking in the local cultures. Life is meant to be enjoyed instead of viewing it through a dark lens imposed upon me by the Watchtower. This lens censured most fun unless it was one of those picture perfect Watchtower scenes of meeting with other JWs talking about JW activities and “deep truths”.

    A very merry Xmas
    And a happy New Year
    Let's hope it's a good one
    Without any fear

    Back in my JW days I remember singing this song from my heart, only to be criticized by my JW wife. Even then my soul knew that I was a prisoner of old WASP men, from Brooklyn who dictated my emotional states. How ironic that what I feared was just an illusion in my mind. Gone are the fears of death at Armageddon, persecution by Satan, approval of other JWs, etc, etc.

    And so this is Xmas
    For weak and for strong
    For rich and the poor ones
    The world is so wrong

    I guess what I was really singing was, my world is so wrong. As I think back to my past world I feel for all those depressed people wanting some amelioration to their mere existence.

    And so happy Xmas
    For black and for white
    For yellow and red ones
    Let's stop all the fights

    Fighting was programmed into me as a way of life. Little did I know that those holy conflicts were just a scheme to divide us from society and keep us within the Watchtower walls. All I saw was black or white, we or they, Satan or God, good or evil, worldly or theocratic and on and on.

    A very merry Xmas
    And a happy New Year
    Let's hope it's a good one
    Without any fear

    Back in my JW life every New Year only made me realize the quiet desperation I lived in. In my mind I wanted to believe we were one year closer to the end, but in my heart I knew better. All the old JWs who told me not to go to college because the end was so near were dying off, never seeing their paradise. My only reality was I being an unskilled blue-collar worker, wanting to have a higher quality of life but unable to finance it with my small paycheck.

    And so this is Xmas
    And what have we done?
    Another year over
    And a new one just begun

    I am grateful to live another year free to dream and work hard to live that dream with eyes open. It has been a long and difficult journey but I would not have it any other way. As a famous Mexican revolutionary said, “I would rather die on my feet as a free man than live in slavery on my knees”.

    And so happy Xmas
    We hope you have fun
    The near and the dear ones
    The old and the young

    Whoever you are reading my words, have fun it’s a God given right no one can take from you but you. Live this day with joy and have fun, if you do this you will have a happy yesterday, as you look forward to a happy tomorrow.

    A very merry Xmas
    And a happy New Year
    Let's hope it's a good one
    Without any fear

    Some fears are healthy because they keep us from taking foolish risks. As you grow in your own evolution your programmed paranoia will lessen with time as you use your God given common senses.

    War is over now

    War for the Watchtower is escalating with the advent of the internet. The fighting field is leveled now with the power of instant information. Now is the time to march forward my brothers in arms.

    Victor Escalante
    “All men are afraid in battle. The coward is the one who lets his fear overcome his sense of duty. Duty is the essence of manhood”.
    George Patton

  • patio34
    patio34

    Thank you Victor for that essay. It spoke for many of us.

    Merry Xmas to you too and a happy New Year!

    Pat

  • TMS
    TMS

    Victor'

    I see that you enjoy John Lennon as much as I do

    TMS

  • Tanalyst
    Tanalyst

    nice post - victor

    Reminds me of years gone by, the paint crew at 117 adams st. singing xmas carols in the stairways while painting.

  • Scully
    Scully

    Tanalyst wrote:

    Reminds me of years gone by, the paint crew at 117 adams st. singing xmas carols in the stairways while painting.

    hmmmmmmm i thought the only "worldly song" that was allowed at Bethel was "Whistle while you work" à la Seven Dwarfs

    Victor:
    Thanks for this and every single one of your posts. I've always enjoyed reading your words, even back on the Philia group when I was first leaving the JWs. Glad to see you're still around.

    Love, Scully

    It is not persecution for an informed person to expose a certain religion as being false. - WT 11/15/63

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