by truthseeker 8 Replies latest jw friends
It never ceases to amaze me that dubs are happy when they invite an inactive one back to the hall but would never take the extra step and invite them into their life, not even for a simple meal.
It's nice to see you at the meetings and that's as far as it will ever get.
Does the social aspect of Christianity not apply to them?
Please share your experiences if you were invited back to the hall but not invited back to their house.
I have a slightly different one. While many JW's do fit the criteria you describe, there is one elder and his wife that constantly invite me to their home or to a BBQ or to a restaurant. They are trying the friendly approach to "get me back." The thing here is that they do this because I have not been DA'ed or DF'ed, have not been a vocal advocate of their not having "the truth."
As soon as I do get vocal, I am certain that this family would cease their invitations. As a matter of fact, if I get vocal at one of their gatherings (I have never been to one since fading) they would start the judicial process by taking it to the BOE.
I have been an elders wife for 21 years, I have the friends over for dinner, clean the older sisters homes, I do a lot. I have given money and gifts without telling anyone, just sliped ones things. I always thought do not let you left hand know what your right hand is doing.
Everyone comes to our home but we are never invited into their home. I can count on one hand the number of invites that we have had in the last five years. One elders wife even had the gull to say well you have only invited us to your home once a year ago. I was like you have got to be kidding. I have never been to your home. They are unbelivably rude and selfish.
I just got told by an elder that I only do things for apearances but he does not even know what I have done. He was always ready to come over to our home or out to eat when I paid though. We never got invites to his home though. It just makes me so mad.
I think I may had posted about this when I was new to this forum. I was invited to my nieces wedding even though I was consider an apostate. The reason I was invited was because she felt I had been so good to her and her sister when they were growing she wanted me to be present. (By the way I was a so considered an apostate the whole time they were growing up) However I wasn't wanted at the reception because of my evil ways (not wanting to have anything to do with the Watchtower). This was relayed to me by her self righteous prig of a fiance. I had mixed feelings about the whole thing because I really cared about about her and didn't want to upset her knowing that the reason she thought this way was because she was raised in the WT and that was why should couldn't see how stupid and mean spirited this whole idea was. I also didn't want to do anything that would detract from her special day. On the other hand I wanted to tell them all to go you know what themselves. Something I a quite capable of doing when people act this way. Fortunately I never had to make the decision because the wedding fell through.
Friendships in the WT world are an odd dynamic. I wonder if it's because on some level they know it's so conditional. With the high turnover rate that is common to cults, those relationships can (and often do) end at any time.
Also, since everyone is expected to spy and report on each other, some people may have a heightened need for privacy where they can be themselves, instead of putting on the show. I wonder if that's how the elder who criticized VS77 feels. That might explain his comment, which was quite rude.
Just my speculations.
I don't think I would want to be invited to their houses. Once there, I am afraid I might never see the outside of it except out in field circus.
I dont know about you guys but I didnt particularly LIKE most of the people in the halls I was assigned to. I didnt WANT to hang out with them any more than the five meetings and field service made me. You dont get to choose the 110 people in your hall any more than you get to choose your neighbors, but at least in the neighborhood you can choose NOT to be around them. At the hall...not so much. We were EXPECTED to be sweet and nice and loving and all that crap to each other. It was an unnatural state to be in. Even with churches, you can go pick a church and a congregation you feel comfortable with and if you move on nobody herds you in and says hey...you live in THAT territory and you dont BELONG HERE so go back to the congregation you are ASSIGNED TO Sistah and stop bucking Jehoovers arrangement! I had the book study at my house too...and I got tired of the rude tactless comments about my house, my kids, my decorating, my after meeting snacks....geeeeez.
God I hated it in there....what were we thinking?? Or rather why WERENT we thinking??
You have to pay the "toll" before you can enjoy the "association."
One of the reasons i began to slip away was because i realised the only reason i went was to make friends, but then i realised that no one there was friendly & the people i knew in 'the world' were much nicer anyway.
