Heard from the stage during local needs.

by maryacclaim 7 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  maryacclaim

  When I lived in SoCal, one of the things that came up was the fact that the Spanish Cong. was not contributing enough for their share of the expenses. They sent our Cong. a letter explaining how they were a poor Cong. and could not afford to contribute.

  Our Presiding overseer gave the local needs talk and said straight out, "They are writting us and saying that they can't afford to contribute for their share, because they are too poor. They have better cars than any of us, maybe they should sell some of those cars before they ask us to help pay for their expenses. I was going to say we should help out, and I was gonna have a vote and make a motion, but instead we are gonna tell them they have to come up with the money." Now, the way he delivered this was so funny the entire hall was loosing it. We couldn't stop laughing.

  Do you have any funny things you have heard?
• 

  GromitSK

  I remember the first TMS I ever went to. One bonkers old brother was talking about the need to chew spiritual food to make is digestible. Unfortunately the word he probably wanted was mastication. I may be wrong though as he turned out to be a complete w**ker.
• 

  twinkletoes

  Very funny

  We had an elder who managed (quite often) to get a few words wrong

  Once he was describing some-one wearing a very large hat - he meant to call it a stetson, but instead he called it a stilton (stilton cheese!)

  Another time he was talking about blood and instead of referring to hemoglobins he called them hemo GOBLINS!

  twinkletoes
• 

  GromitSK

  LOL he probaby did mean Goblins. I remember one watchtower study that touched on martial arts. The brother reading it had never heard of karate and kept pronouncing it "crate". Another brother kept pronuncing mesopatamia like it was an italian entree - messa-potta-mia lol
• 

  WTWizard

  I wonder if those fancy cars were bought before they became witlesses--just try selling those things in this market. I bet they wouldn't get enough money to replace those cars with ones that are equally reliable and of reasonable quality (especially if they have four doors). Plus, who knows what kinds of bargains they got on those cars--if they got a Lexus for $500 because it was "distressed", why go out and get a clunker for $1500 or more?

  I say that each person should contribute according to whatever value they receive from the organization, regardless. If people receive huge actual value and contribute accordingly, there would never be a shortage of funds and they would never need to hound people to give more. If people receive little or no, or negative, value, they should contribute little or nothing. Then, they would either have to greatly improve the product or go belly up.
• 

  jamiebowers

  An elder pronounced "coup de gras" as coop dee grass.
• 

  Tired of the Hypocrisy

  One ms gave his first public talk one Sunday and received counsel immediately afterward for pronouncing Hyperbole as Hyper-bowl. LOL I asked the elder who counseled him afterward if the hyperbowl is before or after the superbowl. He scowled at me...LOL

  Once during the question the wt reader leaned over and farted. It was silent but deadly and no one woulda guessed who tossed it at us had he not leaned.

  Once at a circuit assembly a guy went and sat on the floor right in front of the speaker, brother Bartel I think his name was. The guy sat there for a couple of minutes and none of the ushers went to get him until he stood up and tossed the NWT onto the stage next to Bartel.

  One brother was trying to thank Jah for all of the wonderful PROvisions but said thanks for the many physical and spiritual PERversions. LOL
• 

  anewme

  All the stories are very funny. But I am not laughing as I remember working hard to get to the KH just to listen to this kind of squabble about finances.

  I say let the hall go broke and close the doors. Then everyone take their religious lessons home and practice loving their neighbor until Armageddon comes. That is what they should do.