The cat is back

by Pandoras cat11 6 Replies latest jw friends

  • Pandoras cat11
    Pandoras cat11

    Hello!!,

    It has been a long time since I posted last. Last year I was posting on this forum, (after many years lurking), when a problem came up with my "password" not valid. It was a mess. Then the forum changed and now I am Pandoras cat11, formerly Pandoras cat. I would like to combine the two but if that is not possible, than that's O.K.. Hoping to get the cute black cat avatar back up.

    Anyway, since I last posted many things have occured. My family has started this strange "shaming" practice with me and the hubby. I won't get into the details as this post would be pages. I recently read here that there was a bookstudy not long ago about how to deal with disfellowshipped ones and by extentsion inactive ones. We fall in the inactive bin. If you are familiar with my past posts, our family and my husbands, go back to Rutherford. In their minds they are "spiritual pillars". Anyway, I have a problem that has just come up and would like a little advice....

    The district assembly is at the end of May and my mother has told me that if me and my husband CHOOSE not to attend than she and dad feel it is important to take MY children to the weekend session. She was clear when she said the weekend because my kids are in school. My kids are 16 and 15 and really don't want to go but they love their grandparents and wish not to hurt their feelings. What to do? It should be pretty clear cut---but if anyone is dealing with this you know that it isn't. It has been a year since we have gone to a meeting and that was the memorial. We didn't go this year because we couldn't bring ourselves to attend a practice that we don't believe in. Our family is under the impression that we went----they just assumed we went. So, what can I say that is respectful and yet gets the point across? I want to avoid having a blow out, this does not help. Oh--the hubby is out of town on business and I think that is the reason why she brought this up.

    Thanks, Pandoras cat

  • sspo
    sspo

    Take your stand... without a fight, mildly remind them that you don't beleive in it anymore

    and there is no reason for you or your kids to attend the convention.

    Not a bad idea for your kids also to express it to your parents since they are old enough to make a decision

    about faith and worship.

    Hang in there and be strong...... we all have been thru this abuse ourselves one way or another.

  • Tired of the Hypocrisy
    Tired of the Hypocrisy

    Glad to see you back on. I went thru the same thing with the password.

    About the convention...Do what you believe to be the best for your kids.

  • rebel8
    rebel8

    Say no thanks and decline to discuss it further because it's a personal matter.

  • Witness 007
    Witness 007

    Your kids, your choice......you may let them to keep the peace, it's up to you.

  • jamiebowers
    jamiebowers

    Please don't use your kids to placate your parents, either by forcing them to go or by telling your parents that they don't want to go. A simple but firm, "Thanks, but no thanks." should suffice. If you keep saying it, what choice do they have but to listen.

  • carla
    carla

    I agree with Jamie, please don't use your kids so YOU can stay on the good side of mom & dad. It is their choice to have or not have a relationship with you & kids for becoming a non believer. Sounds like the door is always open on your end. You could produce a thread pages long on how crappy they are already treating you, their daughter, and you want to leave your children with people like this for a whole weekend? to be with other people who teach hate? why?

    From what I see most ex jw's WILL reach a point in life where they must choose the safety and well being of their children or to attempt to keep mom & dad in the picture and retain some relationship with them and/or to continue to get some sort of approval from mom & dad however twisted and small it is.

    This is your children's mental & spiritual well being at issue here, not only that but you are teaching them that emotional blackmail works on you. Teach your kids to respectfully decline any futher preaching from the grandparents, teach them how to say no to a deadly and dangerous cult. They may go to college and be exposed to even more cults, should they worry about hurting friends feelings when not wanting to join? Politeness should only go so far when your life and well being are in danger.

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit