I finally did IT!!

by teenyuck 4 Replies latest jw friends

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  teenyuck

  I told my JW mother that I really did not like being a JW as a child, I hated going in service, I hated going to meetings and I really despised being told that I had to be "subservient" to a man some day. I hated that I could not be a Brownie or Girl Scout. Bad associations and all. I pointed out all the nasty, hateful things the dubs have done to her and members of the family over the years.

  My mother is a strong JW. My dad was DF'd for smoking, my sister for fornication. To my mothers credit, she does not shun them. Or me. She does shun all other DF'd ones, however. She and dad divorced 25 years ago.

  Anyway, she was shocked by my revalations. I dropped out almost 20 years ago. She has had the dubs call on me at home a few times over the years. I have asked her not to do it again. Still, to be shocked that I do not believe that Jehovah is the "One true God?!" She apparently has misunderstood me all these years when I have made negative references about the JW's and the whole paradise thing.
  
  I admitted I do not believe in god. This really got her. What about Satan? No, I do not believe in a "devil."

  All this was a surprise to her. I am just glad I got it off my chest and it is finally out. We never really spoke about it.
• 

  peaceloveharmony

  WAY TO GO PUFFSRULE! bet that felt good eh?

  (((puffsrule)))

  love
  harmony
• 

  teenyuck

  It was liberating. I was on the telephone with her for over three hours discussing this. I told her about the UN thing and she does not want to believe it. She wants proof. I will send her docs and info.

  The best part was my catholic husband's support. He knows my positions and respects them. He is glad I finally told my mother.

  I just lost it when she told me she is trying to find a nice "brother" for a cousin. I told her that he better be educated, since she has a BA. Then I added that since education is not encouraged, she will have a better chance finding a "mate" at a singles bar. This started our 'discussion.' I am really glad it is out on the table and she knows not to preach to me and not to tell me gossip about the old dubs. I just do not care.
• 

  refiners fire

  it is amazing that you have been out of the org 20 years and only just told your mother how you feel.
  No criticism there.
  A friend of mine, 40 years old, only just told his parents how he felt about them and their abuse of him down the witness years. You cant do these things till you are ready huh?
• 

  teenyuck

  It is hard. I have implied, hinted and insulted the JW's over the years-to my mother. Most people would have asked "why do you say such things about them/that?" Not my mother.

  Not until last night, during this "find a nice brother" talk did I really let loose. We debated the bible, Adam and Eve, recorded history, etc.

  I am also almost 40. My sister sent my mother an e-mail last month ranting about the "truth" and my mother seemed to not understand she hates them also. I explained her comments, "I hate them" meant just that. Again, my mother was shocked that we hated the experience.

  Perhaps my mother has been avoiding the inevitable. I have been also. I do not want to be shunned by her. However, she said she respected my opinion; would I respect hers? I agreed.

  This is probably the best situation an ex-JW can hope for...at least she speaks to the apostates in the family.