JW PARROT

by iknowall558 6 Replies latest jw friends

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  iknowall558

  A man went to a pet shop and purchased a parrot. It belonged to a Jehovah's Witness because it kept repeating, "Read the Watchtower and Awake", "Avoid worldly association", "The end of the system is near". SQUAWK!

  The new owner attempted to add new vocabulary to its repertoire with books and tapes and contemporary music, but as the months went by it became obvious that nothing could break through. The parrot continued to repeat the standard catchphrases of the Watchtower Society and nothing else.

  The owner finally became frutstrated and infuriated and in a fit of violent anger threw the parrot across the room. The parrot smashed against the wall and slid to the floor, at which point it immediately started squawking, "No Blood!" "No Blood!"
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  rockmehardplace

  I hate that joke. Every JW function I have ever been to, someone tells that joke. I always ask myself if I want to spend eternity hearing that joke. I guess the real joke is spending eternity anywhere at this point.
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  mindmelda

  Terrible joke! But, rockmehardplace, don't let the Witnesses ruin contemplating eternity for you. That idea has been around a lot longer than JWs!

  It's practically a meme of human existence. Anthropologists consider the concept of immortality (not the reality of it, which is not too provable of course) it a defining mark of what it means to be a modern human.

  Thats why I could never figure out why the Witnesses are such Nihlists. Disbelieving in immortality or even limiting it (they kind of do both) is a dumb move religiously speaking. It's so inherent in most religions, Pagan, Christian, Islamic and yes, even Jewish (most Jews believe in an afterlife of some sort, forget what the WTS tells you about what Jews believe, it's largely bullshit....) that it's kind of a denial of human nature to exclude it from your belief structure.

  Kind of interesting that only atheists and Jehovah's Witnesses believe that "when you're dead, you're dead". Of course, Witnesses have an "out" in their version of resurrection, at least for some, but essentially, they deny the perfectly human desire for immortality and bend it around in an unprecedented way.
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  iknowall558

  i didn't know this was an old joke.......sorry its put you in a bad place.......he he i thought it was quite funny, not seen it before.

  has anyone heard the one about the jw puppies ?
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  iknowall558

  There was a young boy walking along pulling puppies in a wagon. He was walking by a Kingdom Hall where a District Overseer stood outside on the grass. Curious, the DO asked, "What kind of puppies are those?" In reply he said, "They're Jehovah's Witness puppies."

  The DO chuckled and the boy went on his way. The same boy walked by the Kingdom Hall once more and the DO this time was standing with some elders. The DO said, "Watch this" and asked again, "What kind of puppies are those?"

  This time the boy said, "Love puppies". The DO confused said, "I thought you said they were JW puppies"

  The boy said, "Yeah, but today they've opened their eyes."
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  White Dove

  Yes, they are both old but funny jokes. I've heard them a while back.
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  QuestioningEverything

  I've never heard them. Very funny, thanks for sharing.