What is really being described is a “guardianship” issue not a custody issue. You need to check with a lawyer and see how it could be monitored if your JW parents are not rearing your children as JWs and if they were, what legal enforcement could be made. My guess is that any “laws made by men” will be null and void as far as rearing your children in the “only true religion.” Will they refuse to have your child given a blood transfusion? Is that your wish? Would they celebrate the holidays and birthdays for your children's sake? I don't think they would. Non-JWs would be the best bet.
Here are some factors you might want to consider when choosing a personal guardian:
Is the prospective guardian old enough? (He or she must be an adult -- 18 years old in most states.)
Do you and your children have confidence in the prospective guardian?
Does your choice have a genuine concern for your children's welfare?
Is your choice physically able to handle the job?
Does he or she have the time?
Does he or she have kids of an age close to that of your children?
Can you provide enough assets to raise the children? If not, can your prospective guardian afford to bring them up?
Does the guardian share your moral beliefs?
Would your kids have to move?
Making Your Wishes Known
Most people have strong feelings about how they want their children to be raised. Your concerns may cover anything from religious teachings to what college you'd like your child to attend.
One option is to write a letter to the personal guardian, outlining thoughts and feelings about how the children should be raised.
First, sit down with a piece of paper and think of what you want for your children. Their growing up in a traditional, two-parent home may be important to you. Stability and continuity definitely are. You might want the kids raised by a member of your immediate family, because you appreciate and respect the clan's history and heritage. You may want your children to grow up with the same sense of roots. Of course, you want your kids to have lots of love. You want them raised with the values to which you adhere. And their education is likely very, very important to you. Jot down your "wish list" for your children. Then list all the people who you think could likely fulfill these wishes. Parents, siblings and beloved friends will probably all appear on the list.
Then whittle that list, taking the following criteria into account:
Emotional stability. You want someone with the temperament to raise your wonderful, but somewhat rambunctious, two-year-old twins.
Religious affiliation. Religious heritage is very, very important to many people. If you are a devout Orthodox Jew, you may not want your child raised by a Catholic best friend.
Financial stability. Sure, you may have enough money to financially care for your kids after your death. But suppose your estate is very modest? You do not want your kids to become an undue financial burden on their new guardians. You do not want your children raised in an atmosphere of resentment.
Moral code. Determine which of your child's potential guardians embrace a moral code you respect.
Age. You may have been raised by the most wonderful parents in the world. Thankfully, they're both still around to enjoy your children. But they're in their mid-60s, now. Do they really have the strength to look after your pre-teens? And what happens when they begin to develop their own health problems? Finally, parenting is hard work, while grandparenting is pure joy. You may think that your parents have earned the right to simple grandparenthood.
Willingness. Choose someone who actually wants to raise kids--and who wants to raise your kids, if called upon.
Whittle down your list by deciding which of your relatives and friends meet the criteria listed above. Talk to the people you're still considering. Figure out who is willing to do the job, and make sure prospective guardians understand all the ramifications of your decision.
