how did you feel when you shunned disfellowshipped ones?

looloo

i am trying to get in the mindset of my jw inlaws and trying to understand how they can shun my hub (their bro and son ) and not come to visit my 5 year old child (grandchild and neice) i dont think i blame them as individuals but i feel real mad with the ones who must make them feel guilty for bothering with us in the past but can longer do so in good conscience . i never was a jw but how did some of you cope with the shunning thing and did you feel bad ?

Mickey mouse

Personally I felt embarassed and uncomfortable. Deep down I knew it was wrong but would never have voiced that thought. I only had to shun friends though, not family.

minimus

As a JW, you feel you are being "faithful to Jehovah and the Organization". It is believed that maybe this shunning can "help" the wrongdoer turn around and
"come back to Jehovah".

CULT MENTALITY.

MidwichCuckoo

As a JW, I was only ever once in a position (that I recall) with a d'fed person. I was at the KH, and the d'fed was sitting at back (naughty step, lol) and after the Meeting (it was the Memorial) I made a point of going to speak to them (despite glowering looks from the Elders). I never did, or would, shun. It's unnatural, and I think it says a lot about a person who can actually do such a thing...currently I have only one JW who shuns me (long story - maybe I'll post it one day), at first I felt angry, now I just feel he's a total n*b and makes himself look an idiot.

looloo, I PMd you last week

Finally-Free

I never had any DF'd relatives. As for other DF'd people, I had no problem sitting with them in a bar for a few beers. I wasn't about to let anyone tell me who I may or may not speak to.

W

mindmelda

Frankly...I never have truly and completely shunned anyone I know who was DF'd, particularly not family members. I always said "Hello" to disfellowshipped people I encountered in social situations if I knew them. I hated how shocked they'd look sometimes that I spoke to them.

I regularly talk to someone disfellowshipped now who used to work for us when we had our business. He's a very nice fellow, has a drinking problem he's working on. He needs the encouragement. I pray for him too...and so far, no lightening bolts out of heaven for that either.

I'm doing what I believe the Bible asks us to do for those who are distressed or have a problem...console them, pray for them.

The DF bullshit is one of the stupidest hurtful nonsensical rules ever.

truthsetsonefree

Horrible, embarrassed, uncomfortable, which is why I didn't do it much. rules be damned. When I became an elder I used the rules to say at least a Hello or flash a smile their direction.

BluesBrother

I never had a relative d/f'd . I had a friend d/f' once but he was going very "anti" and would not expect me to talk to him, or wish to talk to me.

The others, I knew as an elder were d/f'd for immorality or other "wrongdoing", not conscience issues of apostasy . I believed them to be acting badly and did not feel bad about not befriending them. I never strictly adhered to the "No greeting" though. I would always nod and say hello if they caught my eye.

If they attended meetings I knew that it would look bad on them if I got them to say anything to me so I followed the rules since they were trying to get back.

How did I really feel about it? deep down I never wanted to do it, but I believed I should be loyal to the Organization. I used to fantasise sometimes about what I would do if someone close to me was really unfairly d/f'd? I reasoned that I would break the rules in that case...but of course it never happened.

jamiebowers

I only ever saw one df'd person, and she begged me to shun her, as she was trying to be reinstated. I always smiled at her at meetings. She was df'd for not coming forward about being raped by a brother. He turned himself in to stop her impending marriage. From what I know about jws, probably half think they're doing the right thing by shunning, and the other half are just a**holes.

startingovernow

Weird as it may seem, I never personally knew anyone who was DFd. The only ones I "knew" were the people I went up to introduce myself at the KH who told me right away that they were DFd. Since this was in the Kingdom Hall, I never got the chance to try to speak with them (as much as I would have liked to) since even if I didn't mind getting in trouble - they wouldn't talk to me for their own sake. Crazy when I really think about it.

how did you feel when you shunned disfellowshipped ones?

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