by Witness 007 8 Replies latest social humour
"Some may say that "Smurfs" are demonized...we believe this to be a conscience matter....."
"Bethel headquarters will now be located in the United Nations building in New York....."
"Blood Transfusions are a gift from Jehovah...."
"This Generation" refers to the "Pepsi Generation."
"Prince" is now a member of the Governing Body...."
"All Bethel's have been closed down....Witnesses are asked to print there own literature at home....and send the Society the Donations."
"Why Jehovah Approves of Infant Baptism"
"With Pioneer Hours at 15 per Month, Why Can't Everyone Do it?"
"What will 6100 Years of Man's Existence Mean to Us?"
"Comparing Our Days to the Days of Noah
BURIED IN THE ARTICLE-
...did Jehovah determine the last days of mankind to be be limited to 120 years starting in 1975?"
"Hey, One Statistic is Still Climbing- Number of Partakers"
Maybe the generation can be defined on those of old in bible who supposedly lived for hundreds of years...Jehovah meant the generation of an OT man, since that is where Jehovah draws most of his teaching from.
In 2055 the number of memorial partakers reached 143,200.....many former anointed have proved unfaithful...."
As we've taught for 142 years, when Jesus unrolls the Watchtower OLED, the
archangel will appoint our leader arch elf and help him provide neverending
obscure books by those who misrepresent God for us to misrepresent the right
way. Those who, in violation of Acts 15, boast of the health-giving properties
of dark chocolate Easter bunnies and use 3-in-One Oil will be descended upon by
the Governing Body like a rain of toads who've digested the right spiritual food
and will make everyone else's lawns too slippery to walk on.
This will waft up to our gods and iPod in heaven like a sweet savor not known
since the flood waters cleared from the vast array of carcasses and there was
only enough sauce for a few. We know this because our pastor Russell was there
and he smelled, and, with love, sold us everything he could write about it.
--Cy Borg
They might recalculate the "time of the end".
If they accept 587 BCE for the fall of Jerusalem (instead of 607) and take 365 days per year (instead of 360), they come to 1969.
They can say that Satan used the moon landing (instead of World War I) to distract people from God's Kingdom.
First, they can say that "the generation of 1969" will not pass until the end comes. In 2049, they might change it so that the "generation" is the "evil and adulterous generation" that is on earth since 1969.
Some years later, they might teach that the anointed are the "generation".
Beware of Apostates and independent thinking....
The end is near....
Jesus invisible presence, the Biblical proof for the year 2014...
The generation that will see the END....
Jesus cleansing up his Organization in 2019
The heavinly door is Close since 2035....
Magazine articles for WT issue of Jan 15th 2056:
The Book Of Knorr, 4 reasons it IS inspired.
Does Jehovah approve of eating Soylent Green?
Jesus will return as a holograph in 2059
Robot elders controlled by remote, are stars in the right hand of Christ. W.Once
