Cheater?

by vikesgirl101 8 Replies latest social entertainment

• 

  vikesgirl101

  My boyfriend introduced me to a couple that he has been close to off and on for several years. I immediately loved the wife, who is cool, outgoing and fun. We just clicked. Shortly after I met them, my BF tells me that the couple is having marriage problems. She has a Facebook accoutnt which is a very sore subject. It is how her and I communicate oftentimes. Supposedly she is texting other men, and chatting online via Facebook. My BF, who has been the victim of being cheated on thinks that Facebook is for cheaters. At first I dumped my account in lieu of his feelings about it. Then I discovered that I am nothing like his ex wife. I reopened it. Some people use networking paged to cheat, I use mine to connect to my friends. He has seen my page, and has my password. Still, he is concerned.

  My point is, and I pointed this out to my BF, that if our friend is looking to cheat, she's going to do it. She doesn't need a social networking page or a cellphone. It will be the PTA, her job, or even at her church. She will find what she is looking for. If removing the page would overcome her marital problems, then by all means, do it, to restore trust and faith. But I think their problems are deeper than just the internet or a cellphone.

  Just so you know, I did start to back off from my friendship with her. He gets really mad when I say that I have talked to her. I wish he wouldn't have introduced them to me. But I do begrudge the inuendo that Facebook people are cheaters. Your thoughts?
• 

  avishai

  Unless you've cheated on him, he needs to shut his mouth. Carrying baggage from prior relationships into a new one is BS. Being suspicious of you w/ no cause is accusing you of being a liar and a cheat. If he asked for your password, too, or hacks into your acct., that is controlling and manipulative, and early sign of abuse. Tell him to get his ass to a counselor. Or else. No one needs that kind of shit.

  Philandering sucks, it's terrible, but it's your friend's problem to work out. I no longer hang out with friends who are cheating just because it's not worth the hassle.
• 

  SixofNine

  listen to Avi.
• 

  avishai

  Thanks, sixo. And Vikes? I know this because i've been in your shoes.
• 

  HintOfLime

  I've been cheated on, and Avishai says it right. You don't blame a new car for the mechanical failures of the previous car, do you? So don't blame a new friend on the faults of the previous love.

  We're all human, and in the same circumstance, we might well fall prey to the same mistakes (despite our moral intentions). So stop judging people over crap that is in the past, allow them to be themselves, grant them freedom to do what they want to do, and enjoy what is happening now.

  And tell your boyfriend to grow up and leave the past in the past.

  - Lime
• 

  FlyingHighNow

  Why does he have your password? Do you think that's healthy in a relationship?
• 

  jamiebowers

  Avi is absolutely correct. There's nothing wrong with your boyfriend having fears, but it's up to him to deal with them. Since he is unreasonably distrusting of you, how do you know whether he and/or his friend is doing the same thing to your new friend? Allowing a man to control you to the extent of him having your FB password and frowning on a friendship with someone against who he has no evidence of wrongdoing is dangerous. Tread lightly, my dear, and call me if you need further advice.
• 

  John Doe

  We can't go on together, with suspicious minds. And we cannot build our dreams, with suspicious minds. We're caught in a trap. I can't walk out, because I love you too much baby.

  Nothing to add really, just thought I'd mention that that song just popped into my head.
• 

  frozen one

  You are correct, vikesgirl. If someone wants to cheat they will cheat.