Got back from the hospital awhile ago. An older brother I know is very ill. In his 60's. One of his family members is a girl in her 20's. I heard she was dissassociated, and perhaps an apostate, but I am not sure of her "status."
At the hospital I hugged everyone, including her. Then after we talked about her family member who is ill, she said she wanted to tell me something. She said that years ago, when I went with another elder to her house, she had just stepped in for a minute to her boyfriends house, and she wasn't living there. I had gone there with another elder, and she had answered the door, it was pretty early in the morning. We then formed a committee. She wasn't disfellowshipped at that time. Anyway, she had been carrying that around for years, that she wasn't guilty like it appeared to us then. Then today when she saw me, she brought that up. Strange.
So I said, "Look, I have changed a lot since then, I had no right to judge you."
She ignored that and again said she wasn't sinning at that time. So I said again, "I have changed a lot since then, and I had no right to judge you or anyone else. I am really sorry for doing that. It was none of my business and no one else's either." No one heard me but her. We made some serious eye contact, and I am pretty sure she figured out what I meant, which is that no one should get into two consenting adults business. She smiled, and she said, "Yes, thank you. I appreciate that. I feel the same way."
It felt good to apologize that I had judged her in any way. And it seems to me she understood what I meant. I am pretty confident she won't rat me out, she doesn't go to meetings. But imagine her carrying around that feeling of unworthiness and misunderstanding, when in reality she did nothing wrong. I am so glad I said something.
BF