What is the benefit of the "fade out" I hear it get thrown around a lot here but is it a really a better way to go? At least in my area people who dont go to meetings are treated pretty much the same as the diffed people might say hi to them in the mall but there not gonna be getting any wedding invites.So why fade out? why not just go? Theres a lot of pain and drama involved in a da or df but thats the situation your in your cross to bear so to speak so why postpone or avoid it? No offense is ment to anyone for their choices Im just interested in understanding the motives.
so ive been wondering since i joined here...
by freedomisntfree 4 Replies latest jw friends
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AllTimeJeff
Here's a thread I started, it has some great comments.... (ignore mine, I was asking...)
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sweet pea
I really didn't want the DF label and tried (but failed) to avoid it by fading.
It was only so that people could 'officially' talk to me if they wanted to and/or not feel as uncomfortable around me. You're right in the fact that once you stop attending meetings and people know you don't believe the same as you do they will treat you the same (in fact my brother in law told us only to contact him and his wife if it was an emergency, yes folks he wanted nothing more to do with his 2 nephews aged 2 years and 8 weeks respectively!) BUT I wanted to be able to bump into people without them looking at me like I was the devil, particularly if I happened to be at my parents houses and their JW friends stopped by. My sister who successfully faded still has good relationships with all our mutual friends - me - they treat as if I'm dead.
It's all kind of irrelevent 2 years down the line. I have no time for people who are stupid enough to follow the crazy doctrines of a bunch of old men in Brooklyn. It is what it is. Life is good and the label means nothing now. I know who my friends are these days.
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zarco
The way I think about it is, are there consequences to letting the WTBS control your life. In other words, if you DF/DA yourself are there family members or friends that you would like to see from time to time, if so, a DA/DF will not allow you that option. Do you have relatives who are witnesses that might graduate or marry and you would love to be there, the WTBS would say no.
I choose to control my consequences to the best of my ability. I realize that there is a strong argument against my position (that by playing along the WTBS ends up controlling you). But I will be damned if they tell me who to invite to dinner and if I can attend a relatives wedding or graduation.
It is is tough call. I admire folks who took a stand and I admire folks who use their thinking powers to survive.
Best.
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freedomisntfree
Yes that link helped alltimejeff .yay for me never being baptized I have it pretty sweet in comparison to a lot of situations here