I read this article in THE SCOTTSDALE TRIBUNE today. I thought some of it was worthwhile, some of it biased. This person obviously doesn't know anyone that had to make the difficult step of leaving a high-control religious group like the Mormons. It was written by Bob Schuster. BTW, I already posted this on the http://www.exmormon.org board.
"Call it the Mormon non-story that just won’t die.
It pops up every year or so. It reappeared in last Sunday’s Tribune under the headline, “Ex-Mormons struggle with alienation after leaving church,” by William Lobdell of the Los Angeles Times.
And it will reappear countless times in the future.
But please, don’t blame the reporter or the newspaper. Lobdell did a commendable job reporting the goings-on of the three day “Ex-Mormon General Council” that took place a stone’s throw from the Mormon Temple in Salt Lake City.
It was probably one of the better-read stories in that day’s paper. Many Mormons read such stuff and wince. Many non-Mormons read it and nod their agreement. I’ve been hearing the stories of “alienated” former Mormons and non-Mormons since moving to Arizona 30 years ago. My reaction now is the same as it was when I head the first tale of woe: Get a life!
I am neither a Mormon nor an ex-Mormon. While living in two of Arizona’s smaller towns and in the East Valley, my wife and I have had Mormon neighbors and coworkers. Our kids have gone to school with Mormon kids, some of whom were friends.
We have never felt ostracized, excluded or discriminated against. But I suppose we could have, if we had looked hard enough, found some reason to feel persecuted by members of that religion that so many love to hate.
And there have been, from time to time, legitimate concerns that Mormons, particularly in Mesa, have gotten preferential treatment for public positions or contracts. Whenever the Tribune has aired those concerns, there has been constructive public discussion and steps taken to ensure fair dealing by our public institutions.
Private institutions and associations, however, are another matter. Individuals should be free to associate – or not associate – with others.
It is human nature to forge bonds with others who share similar beliefs and interests. It’s also human nature to feel hurt when a member of the group, clique, association or church leaves because of a fundamental difference of opinion.
It shouldn’t be surprising when members of the group are taken aback. Some may feel deeply insulted. Some may feel defensive – even threatened.
Someone leaving any church may, in turn, sense that reaction and feel alienated. Quitting a social circle might elicit a similar reaction, but probably not as strong as when the break involves deeply held religious beliefs.
Most folks presumably get over it and move on. Even immature junior high schoolers shunned by the “in crowd” soon learn that sulking does no good.
But others don’t move on. They stew. They feed off the resentment of others who feel similarly jilted. They look for ways to reinforce their painful decision.
Therein lie the seeds of hatred.
What is truly troubling is the manifestation of that hatred in organizations, books, conferences and public testimonials in which ex-members of the faith demonize it and its adherents. There are groups of ex-Mormons dedicated to “saving” Mormons from what they claim are the evils of the church.
Everyone is entitled to their beliefs-loving or hateful. But when the hateful beliefs spill over into hateful actions that include bad-mouthing other religions or badgering their members, it’s time for a reality check.
My heartfelt advice to these disgruntled ex-Mormons is to get over it. Get on with your lives. Form new ties with others who share healthy, positive interests.
Vilifying another’s faith doesn’t qualify as either healthy or positive. It is, instead, a recipe for unrest, unhappiness and even violence.
Religious beliefs by their nature cannot be proven or disproven. They are matters of the heart.
Every church is a community of believers. If your heart isn’t in one religion, find another. And for God’s sake-and your own-leave the former one and is adherents alone."