I'll be the first tangible deity. My worship services will be held in any local bar that has pool tables. I'm a god of the poor though, so I'll keep your financial situation in mind. There will be numerous games of skill at the pool tables, and everyone will be required to place bets with 5% of their income. I figure half a tithe is about right. The winner of the jackpot shall then "donate" a mandatory 50% of their winnings to my upkeep and services.
Rules:
- you can have all the beer you want, don't let anyone tell you different
- I get choice of seats and choice of women
- I get backrubs whenever and however I want them
- honor my greatness, and I will bestow rich blessings upon you
I think this is more than fair. For half the cost of a traditional tithe, you get to exercise your skills in a wholesome recreational activity and have fun doing it. Furthermore, I won't be invisible, so you can talk to me face to face, one on one. And finally, I won't make you grab your ankles and squeal like a pig.
Who's in?
