When love dies...

by JustHuman14 9 Replies latest jw friends

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  JustHuman14

  In my mind lately this thought is spinning round and round. Can you find real love in the WT world? I guess you can’t. Everything in the WT is programmed by the leadership of that cult.

  There are rules how you should love someone, what are the “Theocratic Standards” for someone who wishes to get married, qualifications for man, woman. Once I recall there was a CO and he “arranged” for 2 young pioneers to get married. At the time I was in my mid 20’s and I was surprised, find it odd how come those 2 persons get married. They had a complete different back round. He hardly finished high school, low profile and has grown up in a Greek village. She was from UK, educated, funny, powerful character. But for the CO they were the perfect couple since they were both PIONEERS.

  Even in my case (counting the days that I will leave home) I realize that there is no love in the WT world. The only connection that keeps JW couples together is WT rules, meetings, field service, family “bible study”, reading the magazines Circuit Assemblies, and their life connected only through WT’s activities.

  There is no real love, everything is faked, and most of all you cannot find unconditional love. The foundations of a relationship is build only upon WT’s rules, and when one of the part feels that cannot line up with those rules then the inevitable occurs.

  While in normal relations are based upon love and understanding, in WT world is build upon rules. Especially when you realize that no matter how you try to save the relation, WT will break it apart with shunning policy and all the aspects that come along with.

  And all this trouble and pain are created by a “religion” claiming that follows Jesus and suppose to reflect Christian like qualities. I have seen most of JW’s marriages having really hard times and basically they are together because of the WT.

  I guess love shouldn’t be based upon rules, besides love endures all things. I guess is time to leave completely what connected me with the WT and start a new life, a new beginning, looking to find real love…
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  SnakesInTheTower

  I finally found real love....but only when I left the Borg. I am engaged to a wonderful nonJW gal. I would never have asked her out if I were still operating under JW rules about love...

  Snakes ( Rich)
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  straightshooter

  I have never really thought about marriages in this way. Now that you brought the subject up, I have seen many jw marriages that only stay together because of the WTS rules. I recall some saying how unhappy their marriages are, but they stick it out because that is what Jehovah wants.
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  palmtree67

  I know of a situation like that, too. Two pioneers ""encouraged" to get married without actually being in love. (Sounds more like a merger than a marriage to me....)

  They've managed to keep it together for almost 30 years, but they are both obviously unhappy. She has told people that she never expected it to go on this long, as the new system was sposed to be here by now......
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  bluecanary

  As a JW I believed that any two witnesses ought to be able to make a marriage work. What more could you need in common than following the teachings of the WTBS? How could you not love someone that loved Jehovah, right?

  I think my divorce speaks for itself.
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  kitten whiskers

  I'm sorry to say, this may be the majority of marriages in Watchtower world, but it definitly isn't all relationships! Hubby and I are out and happy. We used the watchtower guidelines to find a "suitable mate", but it was true love baby! Neither one of us was going to "settle" with just a JW mate. I wanted it all and got more than I dreamed possible!

  I wish you all the best in your search for love! I am so sorry that so many didn't find what we did. But not all are like that! Just so you know and can have some hope for folks!
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  wantarevolution

  hmmm, i have to disagree , at least in my case - but i think my and I are both equally cynical when it comes to the WTS, to be honest we often have too much fun, and neglect our "obligations" (Stop sniggering down the back!) in that we'd rather be chilling out with eachother either at the beach or in our neighbourhood rather than be sitting in doing our family study.

  I have seen marriages and relationships that were disasters, but the same amongst my friends that aren't witnesses. I have also seen couples both in and out of the org that are very much in love.

  in the org, if you get married just for sex - you're going to get disappointed , but if you marry a girl for the right reasons (you love spending time with her, chatting with her - and want to continue) and you are able to function alone, together in all pursuits- not just WT shit , then it'll last.
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  Hope4Others

  I have to agree it seems when one is in and one is out of the religion what held you together and drew you together is gone. Most to me seem to get together because the other loves Jehovah and those are the things you look for. Someone spiritually strong with righteous qualities.

  What held you together then is no longer there you drift apart. For some perhaps if those were the only reasons they married in the first place they really never were in love. Everything in there

  marriage was based on religion.

  It seems a tug of war goes on, when one leaves Jw land and the other remains there is no longer common ground and the relationship seems only to doom.

  How many on this site even in a split religious home have remained together?

  If you can get your partner out with you it does make life easier, but even then you have to build

  your relationship up again. Now you are both different people when you wake up from leaving, you now know what you have missed in life,

  your goals may have changed you want more in life.

  Its like starting a brand new life.

  h4o
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  yknot

  I am so sorry JH...

  Since you have decided to 'leave' why not start asserting yourself more in opposition of your kids being raised soley JW. Insist on taking them to your church equally as much as she involves them in JW activities. You have tipped-toed her tightrope for so long to keep the peace, time to start preparing everyone for the full inclusion of your faith into the children's lives.
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  yknot