was just contacted by a newly df'd person from our old hall

troubled mind

Recently a young man from our former hall was D'fd . I have known him for most of his life and sent him a word of encouragement when I heard of the announcement . Last night he text and asked if he could stop by our home .( I haven't spoken to him in over three or four yrs.) My son was home so we sat around and visited for a while .I think the impact of shunning is starting to sink into him . He is still young under 21, and all the buddies he use to hang around are of course not talking to him anymore . Since he still lives at home he has to attend meetings and the convention this weekend . He told us the shunning that hurt him the most was his own sister, he hasn't seen her in two yrs. and when she came home for a visit she wouldn't even come in the house to say "Hi" to him .

He is quite a wild child , funny as heck though . He told us more than I wanted to know about the sex ,drug and alcohol problems going on within the hall . He admitted to having a drinking issue himself,i told him I don't allow underage drinking at my home and i think he was surprised .(Why do people think just because you leave the witnesses you have no values anymore ......oh yeah right I remember now because that's what they are always told at the meetings )

It wasn't pleasant hearing all the gossip about our former friends .....our hall was notorious for slandering others, and since I quit I have never been around people that carry on the way they use to ,listening to him reminded me how much I disliked that kind of talk . It also made me aware of how careful I should be when I say things to him because anyone that spreads gossip like that will have no problem talking about you too . I think he just neede to vent so I listened w/o saying anything about it .

I have compassion for his situation though and i want to extend friendship to him while he is df'd .I just hate the alone feelings these kids have to go through and I would hope it helps knowing they have someone non-judgemental to turn to . His whole family is witnesses his oldest brother is an Elder in the hall so his shunning by family will be enforced . I don't think he understands the impact fully yet especially if he moves out of the family home and loses contact with his parent too .

Satanus

It's nice to offer friendship to people in this position. However, putting your foot down about him drinking in your home is a wiase thing. He could bring the sex, drugs and booze into your home, as well. While i don't think that there is anything wrong w those activities (except for most drugs), per se, if it's not kept controled, it can easily mess up peoples' lives.

S

kitten whiskers

I think it's nice you extended the hospitality. Young people like this who are thrown out rather than leaving for seeing the wrongs with the religion, seem to be more prone to suicide and "going off the deep end" with drugs, sex and alcohol.

To see someone leave and stay moral individuals will no doubt help him see that leaving WT doesn't equal leaving God.

bluecanary

Doesn't this show how ineffective shunning is? When disfellowshipped people can't speak to anyone in the congregation, they will turn to worldly people or other disfellowshipped ones. If someone is hanging around other "bad" association, how are they ever supposed to be "good" again? They honestly expect people to have no personal relationships with anyone for 6-12 months? If a "strong" witness couldn't handle that, why expect a weak one to?

It's so obvious that this has nothing to do with what is good for the individual.

AK - Jeff

It's all part of the mind control. Punishment. It has nothing to do with repentance. It has everything to do with fear instilled in the 'flock'.

Jeff

troubled mind

We will have to wait and see what he really wants out of life . I hope over time I can explain that very point ,that someone can leave the witnesses and yet lead a good ,healthy lifestyle .

I want to ask him why he thinks so many of the young ones turn to drug and alcohol .Try to get him to reason that maybe part of the problem is that they are rebelling against the mind control efforts of the religion . I hope he will one day see there is a better way to express himself and that he can be happy on the outside .

Heaven

It seems to me that this young man is at a turning point, a cross-roads in his life. A positive mentor or role model would be good for him. I agree with you that he needs to see that leaving does not equate to being immoral. He does have choices in life and if you can get him to see this, then hopefully he will make the right ones.

I hope he doesn't go off the deep end. The WTS doesn't give a rat's patootie about him so hopefully you can give him something he needs. Establishing boundaries is an excellent thing to do. I wish him much success as he has his whole life ahead of him.

dinah

Troubled mind, I hope there will be something you can say to wake this young man up. I've been in his shoes and it's torture being df'd AND still believing they are right. It was only when I saw what the WT really is that I was able to move on with my life.

Poor kid is probably dealing with the whole "I've only got a couple of years left to live" thing too. I started drinking at a very young age as well. Looking back, I think alot of it had to do with how miserable I was in that religion.

Try to take care of him! He needs a mature ex-witness like you for support.

jamiebowers

Is there an way you can get him here?

yknot

.....I am sure one of us would be happy to text him with the JWN addy for you if you didn't want to be directly implicated......

was just contacted by a newly df'd person from our old hall

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