Got a book today, which takes a lighthearted trip through the OT in Glaswegian Verse, but had to make adjustments cos I thought most here wouldn't understand the 'slang' words. It's probably not as funny now............
Never mind....!
When Noah was a hundred,
he still was just a lad.
Cos he lived for near
A thousand year
which really wasn't bad.
He didn't start a family
Till youth had passed it's flush.
Just 'play it cool'
was Noah's rule
For he wasn't one to rush.
I'm told he was five hundred,
When Shem was on his knee
And then when Ham
was out the pram
Wee Japheth made it three.
In the days men were wicked
ignoring all God's laws.
And it got so bad
It made God mad,
And not without good cause.
And so the Lord decided,
since man was such a dud,
He'd cause them all
Both great and small,
To perish in a flood.
But then he noticed Noah,
Who always paid his subs.
A great wee bloke
Who didn't smoke,
And stayed away from pubs.
So God decided in his mercy
He would save his life,
His family too
would see it through,
Including Noah's wife.
God told him, 'Build a vessel'.
Use the tree's stout bark.
We'll make a boat,
That's gonna float,
And we'll call the thing an ark !
And now I'm going to tell you,
Just what you've got to do.
If you do the task
just as I ask
We'll have a floating zoo.
'For i want you to bring back,
From your safari trip,
Two at least
of every beast,
And pack them in the ship.
'I don't believe you're serious'
Said Noah with a laugh.
'A bird or two
would surely do,
But not a big giraffe!
'And if I might continue
Tho' I dont want to rant,
But I see the sense
in ducks and hens,
But not an elephant!
God said, 'Just do as I say'
But Noah wasn't keen.
'Do you not just think
The thing might sink,
And be a submarine?
God answered 'Trust me Noah'
I'll never let you down.
just simply do
as I tell you to,
And I promise you'll not drown.'
And so the ark was built to plan,
His wife and kids the crew.
Beasts fat and thin
Were packed within -
And the family goldfish too.
Before long the deluge started.
There was no place to hide.
The rain just poured
The wind just roared -
Like summer on the Clyde.
And all the earth was flooded.
Submerged beneath the deep.
The world was ended,
Life suspended,
it made poor Noah weep.
But finally the waters ebbed,
The flood was drained away
And life began
again for man,
Upon that glorious day.
Then Noah and his family,
Saw a rainbow through the rain.
The colours meant
God's wrath was spent,
And man could start again.
And yet we know there always
Will be folk who go astray,
And seek reward
Without the Lord,
And go their own sweet way.
But tho' man tries, he'll never find
The gold at rainbow's end
For Noah showed
Salvation,s road,
Is just to be God's friend.