One day, Jesus is walking around in Heaven, as he proceeds he welcomes all the new arrivals.
Eventually he comes across a wizened little old man, who is busily planing down a piece of wood. Jesus can see that all is not too well, as the little carpenter wipes a tear away from his eye.
Full of compassion, Jesus gently helps the little man to his feet and asks him what is the problem.
"Oh dear", wails the little man, "I am so unhappy, oh dear oh dear."
"Whatever is wrong?" asks Jesus, "Tell me and I will help you."
"Well", replies the carpenter, "It was like this. Many years ago I had a young son who loved to help me do my carpentry. One day we were travelling, and he started to talk to some strangers. I went back to get him but he had disappeared. I never saw him again."
Jesus is totally choked up with the information he has been given, and then the full realisation hits him. He lifts the little woodworker to his feet, wraps him in a great big bear-hug, and exclaims: "Father!"
And the little carpenter hugs him right back, and shouts out joyfully:
"Pinnochio!"
Englishman.
Bring on the dancing girls!