Lack of Love - Your Experiences?

by lepermessiah 9 Replies latest jw friends

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  lepermessiah

  I wanted to start a thread on this subject because I am so curious to get other observations on this.

  The one thing that started me on the journey of questioning my involvement in the organization was the blatant lack of love that I had seen in so many instances. Did I have doctrinal questions - Yes! Did I agree with everything in the WT - No! But, the one thing that really put me over the edge was the lack of love that Jesus, Paul, and many other writers spoke of. I saw it among elder bodies, congregation members, and especially Big Brother when you poured your heart out about things that were really bothering you. The hypocrisy was overwhelming at time - preaching one thing and doing the total opposite. Certainly, there are many outstanding people in the JW organization - wonderful, kind people. But, I fear they are becoming the exception.....most of the elders i know who were like that got either burned out or railroaded by political intrigue and quit serving.

  I have seen so much deplorable behavior by those "taking the lead" that it made me disgusted. Did I expect perfection? - absolutely not. However, I do expect exceptional behavior by those who are supposed to be the leaders. Most of time when people were treated harshly it was just selfishness and a total lack of love for fellow humans (much less Christians) Then, I would read statements such as "trust in the elders because they are spirit-appointed men" and "the elders can be likened to the stars in Jesus' right hand" and want to throw up. Are you telling me that God's Holy Spirit is that far off that it appointed THIS man? Are Jesus' standards so low that he chose HIM to be a star in his right hand? Give me a break. If you question it - you just get the standard "well, you need to wait on Jehovah".

  Your Thoughts?
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  snowbird

  I thought the same, many times.

  There was one particularly obnoxious elder whom I despised but kept it to myself. He was arrogant, rude, and just too full of himself.

  I NEVER mentioned to anyone how I felt.

  Imagine my surprise and vindication when one hurting soul confided to me that she detested this person. I knew I wasn't crazy.

  Sylvia
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  palmtree67

  I was stalked and harrassed through several congregations. It started off with one person, who recruited her family and eventually all her friends until the majority of people were treating me like I was df'ed, even when I wasn't.

  Nothing was done about it until they started doing criminal acts and I went to the city police. There was an investigation and enough evidence to lay charges.

  But nothing done on a congregational level. They viewed it as a "personality conflict".

  I think the biggest problem in the congs are the "sisters". They are so nasty to each other, and the ones who have husbands with priveledges, will bad-mouth to their husbands, so that others are not appointed.

  I stopped believing a long time before I left that the elders are appointed by HS.
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  bluecanary

  I think the biggest problem in the congs are the "sisters". They are so nasty to each other, and the ones who have husbands with priveledges, will bad-mouth to their husbands, so that others are not appointed.

  I think you're right. And I think one of the reasons this is true is because of the subjugation of the women. The only power they have is to be cruel to one another.
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  donuthole

  It was my experience that the caring elders were driven out of the local Body of Elders or stepped aside on their own.

  There was one elderly sister that was sometime ridiculed by certain elders for being a pain. She was old and lonely and was seen as a bit of a nuisance. I remember a certain elder laughed about how he wouldn't answer her call, just letting it ring through to voice mail.

  My wife and I drove her to the meetings on occasion and sometimes joined her for lunch afterward. I remember one particular time she asked very somberly, "Do you think the elders will look after me during the great tribulation?" She was so worried that they would neglect her then, just as they were at present.

  Sometime later I guess she got something of answer. (I was already DF'd at the the time so my details here might be a little sketchy.) There was a power outtage I believe at the elderly apartment complex she lived. The residents had to be evacuated. Her non-Witness daughter had to phone the congregation elders and tell them that the local church down the street had been taking her of her mom for several days.

  I'm suprised that bunch of pharisees didn't try to DF her for interfaith or something.
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  keyser soze

  Lack of empathy shown by those taking the lead was a big issue for me. It was always about what you weren't doing, not the struggles you had to endure which were preventing you from doing them. Your problems were simply treated as a convenient excuse by the elders or CO to justify low field service hours, or missing meetings.
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  WingCommander

  donuthole:

  That is an incredible experience you just related to us! Can you just feeel the loooovee oozing from these Christ-Like ones??

  Whenever I hear a story like that, I'm always reminded of, "The Lord works in mysterious ways." Hmmm...wonder if that little experience of Christian love opened up her eyes even further to the neglect she was suffering?

  How sad, and what a "Witness" to the rest of her worldly neighbours around her of how they treat their own.

  - Wing Commander
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  WTWizard

  They just wanted me to be celibate forever--and they were heading me toward that Value Destroyer Training School (so I could be exploited to build the whole organization up to Critical Mass). They did at least keep me celibate, so whenever they can catch me again, they can still head me in a one-dimensional course toward that f***ing "school(??)".

  And this was consistent--any hounders that did not go along with it would be methodically put out of the way, and they custom made rules so I could not do anything that they felt might increase the chances of finding anyone (as if Jehovah was going to allow that: if only they knew that any multiplier times zero equals zero, they wouldn't have wasted the time making those rules). The consistency shows me that there is no love within the witlesses.

  As for any love from God, if He would have done the opposite for me (that is, opened the floodgates toward the opposite sex on me), I would have no longer qualified for the Value Destroyer Training School. That would have thwarted their plans for me to plunge mankind into the Second Dark Ages, and ultimately either they would have had to show me true love or lose me for fornication within days. Not to mention, I doubt that I would have become one of Jehovah's Witlesses in the first place had the opposite sex been more receptive toward me before--shame on you, Jehovah, for setting me up for this!
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  Girlie

  The lack of love is a major reason behind my fading. Whenever I brought this subject up to an elder, they would act offended and would turn it around on me by this insensitive statement, "What are you personally doing to build up the love of the congregation"? Umm... aren't you appointed by God's Holy Spirit to be leaders of this congregation? I think that is a question you should be asking your self.

  Yet, when the CO came to town, everyone broke their neck to put on the fluff act, just for him to declare the exact samething.

  What irks me the most is how they keep preaching how the love amongst the friends is so strong, that a fellow JW will be willing to lay their life down for you. Yet, their actions prove such a statement to be a bold face lie.
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  snowbird

  That irked me, too, Girlie.

  Some who never worked with anyone else but a select few in FS, would become all gushy over you when the CO came.

  It was all a show - no substance whatsoever.

  Sylvia