by highdose 4 Replies latest jw friends
hi
just wondering if anyone has suffered this same prob...since leaving the borg i have made some lovely freinds. the trouble is mentaly i'm still waiting for them to find out that my fathers not an elder or that i've never pinoered and then reject me. This has been the pattern of my life all my life, how do i stop it?
Get some therapy and cut yourself some slack. You were part of a cult!
I've had a lot of trouble making friends. I managed to find a great boyfriend right off the bat, but it never pans out when I try to make girl friends. I've met up with a couple of girls, we go out once, I never hear from them again. It's exactly like dating! I enjoy haning around my BF's friends, but I'd really like to find another girl that I can bond with. I don't know how regular people do it.
Those of us outside who are interested in real friends do not care much about your family standing or what gold stars you earned with some corporation. Those are interesting talking points, but little more. We are concerned that you are truthful, reliable, trustworthy and friendly, and prefer that you are not destructive, flakey or duplicitous. That's about it.
I completely sympathize and empathize with you my friend! I know exactly how hard it is to make friends on the outside, and I too know how it is to have things related to being a Witness creep in when it comes to new friends, and your family etc. But it can be done, it takes a bit of conscious self correction. I still have times where I have to say, "feenx, this is not reality, this is simply JW programming. Don't think that way, it's ok." At first it's hard, but the more you do it the easier it becomes. And like anything in life time always helps.
Strangely enough, in a round about a way, and some cases directly, all my friends came from the internet. In fact I have a friend, who I view as a sister, that I met off the strictly platonic category on Craigslist. Odd, I know. But it can be done. Keep your chin up! Remember that friendship is a two way street, so it's JUST as important that you like these people, forget all the JW nonesense. It doesn't apply to right now. Enjoy the moment man, you're out!!
