having got married at only 19 myself first time around i worry it wont work out for her , but at the same time hope it dosnt as it may help her escape eventually from the cult she was born into , i very much doubt whether her brother (my husband )and i will get a invite or her neice will be asked to be bridesmaid , she also has another disfellowshipped sis who would love to get to know her better as contact has been minimal sice she was disfellowshipped when my sis inlaw was very small , my sis in law is a pioneer and appears quite dedicated but struggles with ignoring her bro and sis , she also went to greece on a girly hol with a friend recently ,which im suprised is allowed in jw land , did any of you who were very dedicated as youngsters start to see things differently after getting married to a "strong in the truth" type i cant imagine her coping with being submissive as she is quite strong minded i believe she dumped a previous boyfriend for telling her what she could and could not do . i would not have thought getting married at 18 would be considered a good idea, or do they prefer the females to marry young to keep control of them ?
18 year old jw sis in law is getting wed !
by looloo 9 Replies latest jw friends
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Heaven
I guess this depends on what the 2 of them want in life (if they've even figured this out yet) and what principles they base themselves on. I would highly recommend that they take a 'marriage course' before they tie the knot. Marrying at this age can work... I know of couples who married their high school sweethearts and it's still going strong. But I think the odds may be against them.
It all depends on the couple. I personally would recommend they wait until they are out of school (post-secondary school, ie college/university, btw) and in the work force. You go through a lot of change in this timeframe.
In my family, the JWs who got married this young did so to have 'legitimate' sex. These marriages didn't work out.
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wantstoleave
Yes, unfortunately most JWs marry young in order to have sex. Ive known many marriages that work from this age, and many more that dont. Some enjoy the exhilaration of dating, getting the engagement ring - then reality sets in and its too late to back out. I remember a 17yr old getting engaged, and being at her e/ment party. I was outside with some kids and heard some 'words'. I peeked around the corner, and there was the not so happy couple, her head to the ground, him standing over her, berating her, really talking down to her and 'you'll do as I say' type things. I was horrified. I went back inside and told my parents. Not seconds later they walked back in, not together, and then rejoined and acted like nothing had happened. They married the day she turned 18. He is now an elder and a right pompous one!
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Out at Last!
Heaven, a marriage course? They have the prehistoric FAMILY BOOK to study together.
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wantstoleave
We never studied the family book - ever....oops!
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angel eyes
My hubby was extremely mature at the age of 17, thats when we first got to gether, he was 21 when we married, so it can work aslong as they are aware of the responsibility of being christian husband and wife, also its a life long commitment.
We studied the Family happiness book but it didnt help us lol...long story, but we studied other publications. Dont forget though when your married you wont get support...we didnt ,although we never have ever anyway so i guess thats why we are ever closer to Jah.
Hope it does work for them :)
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mouthy
I got married at 16 yrs of age was married on the 3rd of May birthday 17 on the 22nd.
I was married for 42.1/2 years .....I loved him very much, He always said it was a shot
gun wedding( guess is was ....I was pregnant)
I have spoken to SO many JWs that got married young because they wanted sex..& wanted to do the ORGS rules....Hardley any lasted. I hope this one will be happy
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bluecanary
I find your post very difficult to read. Please consider using capitalization and ending sentences with periods rather than commas.
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Heaven
Heaven, a marriage course?
Out at Last... yes, a marriage course or rather a marriage preparation course preferrably one not run by a religion, although religion or faith can be part of the course as this can be a big issue in marriage (as we well know). Go to one that is being run by a counsellor. There are online ones too. At this age, have they even done a financial budget? What are each of their goals in life? How many children do they want? What does each expect sexually? How are the household chores going to be handled? How are they going to effectively communicate with one another?
I am dead serious about this. Wish I had done it 20 years ago.
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Spook
Lot's of people get married young, usually when they don't have better options. Most young Jehovah's Witnesses don't have better options. At least being married you can have sex, move out and refuse to take on "priviledges." All marked improvements over living at your parents, working at a bank and auxiliary pioneering. If they aren't going off to school, they don't have much going for them anyway.
Young JW's tend to go to one of two extremes: They seem either extremely mature for their age or extremely childish. I knew plenty of sober young men with a thick skin - but I knew many more who couldn't make it in the real world.
If only selling houses to fellow JW's that other JW's built could last forever. Haha! Whoops! Looked like they learned that lesson. I'm gonna make a post about that.