telling jw's your findings about the cult

AwSnap

I'm finding that if you ask a jw a question as though you are completely confused (its got to be "sincere", not aloof), dumb, pondering, unsure, unconfident (that's the biggie), they will listen to what you have to say. If you ask things with even a *hint* of cocky attitude or a 'let me show YOU what you don't know' attitute, their minds will shut off instantly. Just speaking from experience. ;-)

Although they won't agree with you immediately, at least you know it's in their brains. So when they lie from the platform about the churches of "christendom" and their tithing policies, your jw loved one will have that split moment when they realize the jw's do the exact same thing, even if they don't call it tithing.

bluecanary

Exactly. That's the advice I try to give to people who want to get their spouse or family members to wake up. Don't be confrontational. Don't make it about you and what you've learned. State things in such a way that it might have been a question that floated up from their own brain.

AllTimeJeff

Excellent observation.

Frankly, confrontational has been tried, and has limited success at best. By playing "dumb" and asking questions "sincerely", you are taking a page right out of the JW playbook. Whats good for the goose is good for the gander.

undercover

Yep...they're indoctrinated to shut off all negative information. So if you present something as definitive or as factual and it's negative, they'll shut down mentally. But, if you ask questions, seek an answer to something, yet it presents a conundrum, it can get through.

kurtbethel

Yes, I have to keep this in mind at all times. Thanks for the reminder.

2pink

i totally agree, but it's so hard to do!

or maybe that's just bcs i'm overzealous right now as i am experiencing my first taste of real freedom in 31 years...and i can't shut up about it. :)

Black Sheep

I had already blown it by the time I woke to that. Now, they won't even listen to a question.

AwSnap

Trust me, I understand. It may be tough to do, Black Sheep, but maybe just let it cool off for a couple years & then go back to them with a 'I know I said some really harsh things before, but now I'm just confused. And I need help understanding some things.' Maybe? ;-)

wobble

As I posted on another thread, I have found it useful to bring in a third party, I have asked my family to prepare some proof that JW's are God's Org that will stand up to the scrutiny that my two University educated sons will give it. I set the scene that my sons may soon be searching for the right religion.They (the family) said they cared about my sons,who were never baptised and left the WT long ago.

In discussing the kind of objections to their proof that my sons would use, I was able to plant a few seeds, I hope. And as the stuff is not coming from me but is the hypothetical thoughts of my sons,the family could not feel I was being confrontational.

When after a month or two my family have not come back with the necessary proof, I shall say that my boys have decided to join the Baptists,or some such religion, "because they seem to be able to prove their claims" . It might make them think, but I never hold my breath waiting for a Cult member to think.

Love

Wobble

Lady Lee

When I was guest lecturing a few years ago I would go through all the criteria of what cults are and how they operate. I would not tell them what group I was from. Not until the end. Then I could go through examples of how my group measured up to the criteria.

I could see something like this:

You are talking to a family member about what you were told about cults giving examples of what cults are and how another group matches the criteria. When they see the links then ask (if you dare) why is it that the JWs do the same things but aren't a cult?

telling jw's your findings about the cult

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