Think those words are true? I'd like to think so.
Went to my home cong.'s meeting on Sunday--got there after it was over, which was convenient. Told elders of my impending marriage, was greeted with immediate suspicion. Not, "That's great! Congratulations!" The first thing the COBOE said to me was, "Is she in 'the truth'?" Another dude, a former elder with two bad marriages and several children under his belt, acted like I'd told him I was amputating an arm. For some odd reason, he acts like he's still an elder and has even that ridiculously provisional [read: non-existent] authority to interrogate people about their personal lives. "Y'all have a chaperone? Don't isolate yourselves. You want Jehovah's blessing on it... If you need somebody to take pictures for you, I can do that." Yeah. I'd rather use a 10-year-old Polaroid camera than ever give money to him to take so much as a picture of my stool sample.
I quickly started to find out just how dead-on Steven Hassan's book is--conditional love at its finest. The R&F are generally nice people; some of the pioneers and pioneer-groupies can be a pain. Some, not all. Anyway, my brother gave his first public talk on Sunday--my mom more or less forced me to watch it on video. Talk about a sleeping pill. Normally I can at least try to listen, but...geez. An earthquake happening recently was easy fodder for an outline.
But the Thought Police are getting colder. They want to meet with me, but refuse to divulge why they want to meet with me. The COBOE seemed almost sarcastic when I mentioned not turning in field service time. He scoffed and said, "That's what you think it's about, huh?" I should've looked him dead in the eye and said, "Well, enlighten me, sweetheart. What is it about, exactly?" The fact that they're staying vague indicates that Mom ratted me out by now. But she doesn't know anything to rat about--one witness who has circumstantial evidence is not really a meaningful matter to pursue. Heck, if a child molester doesn't get charged based on one witness who was actually the VICTIM, how the frak can I get charged with anything?
Anyway, I'm not inclined to meet with them. If they're interested in taking vague accusations to trial, they can have a trial without me. My guess is they want to meet to extract a confession because they have no proof of anything. And I have no answers to give them. Ironic. Even human courts show more concern for justice than the so-called 'theocratic' ones.
Can't believe my fiancee wants to go to my home cong. They slandered her when we first started dating, and the elders all but said 'good riddance' when she was first DF'd. Why would she want to go back to people like that? I mean, not everyone was like that, but for me, I'd like to be wherever those people are not.
Meeting tonight. I sometimes think I can be reprogrammed, but when I read the literature (or 'literatrash', as some have called it), all I can see are logical fallacies, scriptures taken out of context, and baseless arguments made. It's impossible to see anything else.
Oh, here's a funny thought--the October 2009 Awake! on 'family success' criticizes modern therapists and the like for 'changing their opinions'. (!!!!) Does the Borg not realize that they change their opinions ALL THE TIME?? The same logic could be used to render them untrustworthy! Idiots! (sigh)
Got to try to be calm. The woman I love is worth this. "There's no redemption where I'm going." "I ain't askin'." Take care, folks. Love you all--you're my one respite from the 'spiritual paradise'.
SD-7