jw's view of death, hereafter, etc. skewed

by carla 7 Replies latest jw friends

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  carla

  Oompa said in another thread, "so non-dubs should grieve less over their dead,"- I have heard this before from jw's or ex jw's. To me it seems that jw's and often some ex jw's have a skewed view of non jw's view of death, hereafter and the grieving process. Certainly we all have heard at one time or another when someone who was suffering terribly died that it was a 'blessing' when they finally passed on, the family still grieves nonetheless. Often for the Christian in grief it is a mixed feeling, one of joy for the deceased that they no longer suffer and have gone to be with the Lord, and one of intense grief because they will miss the daily interaction and wisdom of the person.

  In the case of an unexpected death due to accident for example the grieving process may take longer yet because there was no time for goodbyes, no time to prepare for the loss.

  In reading many stories of jw funerals and deaths I can only conclude that they do not really grieve in the normal sense or as non jw's do. Often I have read stories where it appears they allow one day of crying and sadness and after that you are supposed to go on as if all is well. I have even read where the family members were expected to be out in fs the next day after a death! The fact they don't allow a person to go through the grieving process should speak volumes about it being a cult, aside from that I can't imagine all the psychological trauma at not being allowed to grieve at your own pace. Grief serves a purpose, if jw's believe God wrote things upon our hearts yet do not allow what apparently God put there are they following God? or do they think perhaps satan invented grief?
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  Chalam

  Morning is a godly emotion, we are made in God's image, hence we all mourn Ecclesiastes 3

  God morns the death of those who do not know Him Ezekiel 18 Ezekiel 33 2 Peter 3:9

  All the best,

  Stephen
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  wobble

  Thank you Carla for your thoughtful post,

  I am sure you are right, and not to grieve fully is well known to be damaging.

  There is a silent thing too where JW's will not offer continuing support for the one grieving because they think it is wrong for the process to be protracted. So within a very short time the dead person is no longer mentioned, and yet it would perhaps be very cathartic for the one grieving to talk about the person they have lost, and receive some words of comfort.

  Altogether an un-loving Cult, with strange, un-founded beliefs.

  After all, the scripture that talks about not grieving as the rest do is talking about the over the top rituals of mourning, of the time,as was the case too in the U.K just a century ago, a widow would wear black for at least a year,or following Queen Victoria's example, even longer.

  Such displays are not necessary, but the mourning process differs from person to person, some need a long, long time, and deserve our loving support throughout.

  Love

  Wobble
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  OnTheWayOut

  What gets me- JW's feel that they have to be good JW's in order to see their dead loved ones again.
  Whether or not they go through a decent greiving process, many become invested in the WT religion so they can say all the things to Grandma that they didn't say when she was alive. The cult warps so many aspects of members' lives.
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  dissed

  Thanks for bringing this up Carla. I wish I had more time to be long winded on this one, but I have to hit the road.

  The point of the cult is simple. Separation from the 'worldy' family is necessary in life and death.

  Does this apply to the JW's? Absolutely. They excell in this endeavor.

  Not all the JW's accept this, but enough buy in into it to judge others who are grieving 'incorrectly' and mold them to a proper thought process.

  A JW reading this post, will say not this, that's not how we feel. But I've never seen a more antiseptic funeral service. It does little to help families, only bringing out the eathly hope, and implying that will take care of it. Which it doesn't. And if its a 'worldy' person, all the better, they won't be destroyed at Armageddon.

  I've heard many a JW condem a worldy service for being too emotional and mocking the service.
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  carla

  A question- say there is a 'good' jw family and an older person has died in good standing, jw's have their brief memorial (sales pitch) and life goes on, do jw's in later years talk about dear old grandma or old aunt Bessy or does the person simply kind of disappear from the family as a whole? Is it discouraged to reminisce about dead relatives? would that be too close to ancestor worship or some other jw nonsense?
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  Luo bou to

  Why did Jesus cry at the death of Lazarus when he was about to bring him back to life? I lost my daughter when she was 18 and I cried a bucketful of tears... I loved her ...She was worth every single one of them. It was not because of a lack of faith ... I will see her again ... It's normal to grieve any loss even that of my JW family and friends ( the living dead) that were so much a part of my life for so many years.
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  OnTheWayOut

  People are people. JW's do as everyone else in reminscing. My JW mother talks her dead parents all the time and what an impact on her life they were, but ends most of it with "It will be great to see them again in paradise." So I believe JW's are fairly normal but WTS gets them to focus on their false hope of seeing them again.