Womens Poem v Mens Poem

Mattieu

WOMAN'S POEM

Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.

MAN'S POEM

I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs who owns a Pub and a
golf course.
This doesn't rhyme and I don't care.

JimmyPage

oompa

nice....and look no further!...and i dont pray.........oompa

LouBelle

What if I pray like a man - 'cept I'm not interested in the big boobs part but rather big........

oompa

lol at loubelle!....guess i am not your man lou....as i have heard....the worlds great masterpieces are not painted with a big fat brush...but a smaller instrument using thousands of delicate strokes!..................oompa

iknowall558

I laughed out loud....... : 0

LouBelle

oompa - did I read that correctly - thousands of delicate strokes...okay my address is:

I'll be happy with a paintbrush that works and knows what it's doing.

I'm in such an orange mood.

OnTheWayOut

Here's some thoughts from the man who said the poem:

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.
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Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
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Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows Them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
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How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
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Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to Build up the required pressure.
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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
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What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told.
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I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
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Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
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Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
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In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.

Then God created Man and rested.

Then God created Woman.

Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
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How do you turn your dishwasher into a snow blower?
Hand her a shovel.

OnTheWayOut

I got my own hat:

Womens Poem v Mens Poem

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