social outcasts, or possible geniuses, is it really so bad to be 'different'? (Asperger's & Autism)

by Adalwolfa 7 Replies latest social family

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  Adalwolfa

  I've posted this already under another topic but thought to do it again and maybe open up an honest discussion.

  My son has been diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome or borderline Autism. Since then I've read just about anything I could lay my hands on. The thing is he is very bright but doesn't mix very well socially. At first that was a major shock to me as a parent. But more I've read about it the more I've realized that what we consider as 'normal' might not be so normal after all. The thing that those kids lack is 'social glue' but not because of
  them not wanting friends but because of 'being different' and not being accepted by the rest of the crowd.
  In time I've learned that some of the greatest minds ever have had Aspareger's or Autism including Albert Einstein, Mozart, Newton, Benjaming Franklin, Abraham Linkoln, George Washington, Leonardo Da Vinci and so on and so on. So much so that some scholars are now calling it the genious gene. In fact, the bottom line premise that comes through is that what we consider normal is in fact another word for average.
  
  In all honesty, and this is my conclusion, if someone is really a genius why would he even want to appease to the rest of the crowd just for an off chance of being 'accepted' as an average? To put it other way using a comparison, how many of 'normal people', once reaching the status of billionaire, would actually take their wealth and now distribute it equally among their less well off friends just to be accepted as 'equal' or 'normal'? I'm yet to meet one.

  Maybe it is the time to review what we consier as 'normal' after all nobody is completely defect-free just that some are better at putting make up on to cower it than others.
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  Lillith26

  Hello Adalwolfa... welcome to the forum...

  I agree with what your saying, they dont to be changed or be 'fixed'- it's us that need to change our understanding and attitudes towards Asperger's syndrome and Autism....

  I thought Albert Einstein had dyslexia?http://www.einsteinmontessori.com/ems.php?category=about_albert_einstein
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  Adalwolfa

  Hi Lillith26 , thank you for welcome :), actually it has been widely reported that Einstein probably had Asperger's, and not only him but many many others. I think many people would be surprised to know just who some of those people are.

  http://www.asperger-syndrome.me.uk/people.htm

  http://rarediseases.about.com/cs/aspergersyndrome/a/041003.htm

  http://www.disabled-world.com/artman/publish/article_2086.shtml

  The funny thing is just how regularly these people are or have been rejected unitl they became 'famous' and recognized by wider public. And the sad part is it was often during their formative years that they've been rejected. Ironically, their 'anti-social' attitude might have been greately conditioned by the rejecting environment that couldn't cope with someone being different.
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  Black Sheep

  social outcasts, or possible geniuses, is it really so bad to be 'different'?

  Yes, especially when the people surrounding them are members of high control groups.

  Parents beating their kids down to their own level is not something that I am a big fan of.
• 

  cantleave

  Hi,

  My son is just in the process of being diagnosed. It seems to take forever and each school year they change the educational psychologist. I know my son is bright and loving but at school they seem so concerned with teaching him to fit in socially they neglect to teach him anything else. I was asked if I saw Aspergers as a problem at home and my answer was no. Many people end up in dead end jobs giving up on their aspirations in order to fit in. My son will doggedly pursue his passions when he grows up and won't make do like so many of the rest of us. What I do need help with right now is how to progress his diagnosis and what help is out there to support his development so that he will be equipped to be the genius I know is there.
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  Lillith26

  Untill I joined this forum I had never heard of Asperger's, I learn something new every day, I am very familiar with dyslexia as many in my family are dyslexic.

  Thankyou for the information you have posted, I have booked marked for further reading

  Welcome again.

  Lillith
• 

  wantstoleave

  Famous celebs such as Dan Akroyd and Darryl Hannah also have Aspergers.

  Aspergers is on the autism spectrum, but is high functioning. My oldest son presents as Aspergers, and my youngest also the same, but more PDD-NOS (pervasive developmental disorder, not otherwise specified) which basically means he fits alot of categories of Aspergers/autism but doesn't 'fit nicely' in one particular area. Both were diagnosed by a world renowned Professor (psychology).

  Children/adults with Aspergers are usually classed as 'socially awkward', in that what is normal behaviour to them is not normal to the everyday person. They need to be taught social cues - and it can be done. Many go on to marry and have families of their own. Most are extremely bright, particularly in their 'subject of interest'. They may go on and on and on about their favourite topic, interrupt conversations, go off on tangents, changing the topic to something of interest to them. They may also stand too close, not realise personal space. Their brains are wired completely differently.

  Cantleave, first step is getting that diagnosis, which I know is a long road in itself. Next step is behavioural therapy if he needs help with how to control his emotions. Most Aspergers children have lots of frustration because they can't get their point across properly. Some also have anger problems. All comes down to frustration and what's going on inside their head that we can't see. I've also found that occupational therapy has helped immensely with my sons. My oldest for instance, has fine motor skills trouble, typical of Aspergers. Another area where they often lack is in comprehending speech. They may have a huge vocabulary, speak extremely well BUT often don't understand the context of what is being said or asked of them.

  If you can find a good psychologist, they should be able to point you in the right direction. There is alot of help out there, but if you are like me, it is all very overwhelming when you first look at it. You're right, got to find that inner genius with your son. The trick is harnessing it and professionals will be able to help. Just hang in there
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  Adalwolfa

  Morning, and thank you all for your lovely comments. I can't tell you how much it means to me to be able to discuss this openly. I think Black Sheep hit the nail on the head with "especially when the people surrounding them are members of high control groups" while he was probably mostly referring to JWs ;) I think it is a wider problem in our society.
  
  I think it has been the case throughout the history that some people have been promoted and others degraded purely based on how much they 'fit' predetermined set of standards. In those rare instances where Aspareger's or Autism children were from either well off families or otherwise had enough of internal drive in their chosen passion that they actually suceeded. The thing is one would expect that in this day and age society has learned enough and moved on from just basic drives, impulses and prejudices. The thing is, and this is very unfortunate, the school system introduced way back during industrial revolution of 1800's has not changed much at all. It is still there in place trying to make 'useful citizens' compliant to the rules of the game. And the most basic rule of all is 'if you are not quick witted in your social interactions you are basically unfit to live (or at least if you are not quickly following such cues from others)' I guess, reason being, and that is my opinion, as such you are way harder to control, you are unpredictable and not abiding to social stimulus that everyone else is almost religiously responding to.
  
  The thing is though, and I can't even begin to tell you how many people I've met who are very socially malleable and if their tongue was the only thing to judge them by, they all deserve Nobel Awards. Yet so many of those while being quick-witted in their public performances are almost completely inapt, useless when it finally comes down to actually DOING that work they were talking about - unless of course it is another sort of verbal performance like actors in a theater.
  Unfortunately, it is somehow deeply rooted in our modern culture to judge people purely by how well or how quickly their tongue rolls.