I have to tell you that...
New Light is just a plain old excuse that has been used now by the Society for over a hundred years. As Mindchild has been a very bad apostate and has often criticized the Borganization today in the spirit of fair play, I thought I would offer mine and hopefully your services to set them up with better excuses for being so ..uh, plain wrong so many times.
Here are a few I thought of, can you add any more?
1. Who? NO we didn’t say that!
2. You have what we said mixed up with what the apostates are saying.
3. It is not the proper time for you to understand what we said
4. You haven’t updated your WT CD-ROM yet, cause we never said that.
5. We are testing your faith.
6. What do you expect from a bunch of senile old men?
7. You didn’t read the fine print.
8. It was apostates who broke into our computers and changed the wording.
9. See what happens when we take a vacation? Everything around here goes to hell.
10. Our lawyers told us to tell you that.
11. We can’t understand it either.
12. Uh..was that wrong?
13. We don’t give the right information to certain people; you have to be spiritually advanced to be on the “in crowd” list.
14. We ran out of Prozac that day.
15. It can’t be wrong; we don’t have any new ideas left.
16. Our attorneys tell us we are not liable for the goof up because we didn’t break any laws.
17. We have better things to do than listen to your complaints.
18. We forgot that was a bad idea.
19. We have too many pending personal lawsuits to be concerned about little things like this.
20. We would love to be right, but we don’t have to.
21. You want the truth? Yeah, well people in hell want ice water too.
22. Check with us next week.
23. This was Fred Franz who told you that.
24. Didn’t we tell you that we already took care of this? You need to read your Watchtower more closely brother.
25. Jehovah was supposed to tell us things accurately but the universe is a busy place you know and he has a lot to do.
26. As one of our Russian brothers said: "You only have to meet the requirements of a religion if it is convenient for you!"
27. We don’t remember saying that.
28. If we always got everything right, you wouldn’t have anything to complain about.
29. I don't give a ____ about you. What can you do? Put us in jail for telling you this?
30. Went to have our palms read and the lady said we had a very short life line, so we figured were going to die very soon, so just be patient...
31. What about all the times you have been wrong?
32. We never answer anybody’s questions that have a snotty attitude.
33. We have been on vacation the last 3 months and we haven’t had time to fix it.
34. Times are tough right now. We can’t be bothered about details.
35. I’m sorry we are getting new inspiration right now, and we will be sure to tell you about it.
36. We don’t care what you think of us, only what God thinks of us.
37. Our dog ate the original idea we were going to tell you.
38. It was demons that changed the wording of what we said.
39. We said that so we could get more money.
40. We are having an angry brother bothering us right now. Can you talk to us later?
41. We are so offended that you have doubts that we are not going to change anything.
42. Getting everything right is against the whole idea of religion.
43. We don’t remember..we don’t care..we don’t
44. We were wrong? Why didn’t you tell us that sooner?
45. It’s all a test of your faith.
46. We were supposed to be right but Satan changed the world.
47. Before you complain about us, take a look at other religions.
48. It didn’t hurt you did it? Oh, well in that case, contact our legal department.
49. Your doubts are too strong just have more faith.
50. Have you been reading those apostate discussion boards again?
Cha Cha Cha
Skipper