Elders & Ex Elders, Did you have any shouting matches with your fellow elder?

Finally-Free

I've never witnessed a shouting match between elders. I'm sure they tried to keep their disagreements away from the average grunts.

W

slipnslidemaster

I don't know about Elder on Elder action, but on two specific occasions, I yelled at elders in the hall after the meeting in front of the congregation.

I was a teenager no less. One ended up respecting me, the other is still a dick.

No shouting matches. Frustrated disagreements with knotted facial expressions for sure, which I was told, wasn't cool. So no problem. It helped me internalize my emotions in an even more unhealthy way then before!

There were 2 old coots who were elders since 9/1/72. (btw, any elders lurking, if you have elders on the S-2 with an appointment date of 9/1/72 next to their name, run and hide. Get some wooden stakes, sunshine in a box, something. These men don't die....) These 2 old elders would argue before and after meetings, occasionally heatedly. The PO, a good man, would tell them to "take it to the back".

In my congregation, because of the history of heated elders meetings, us younger elders talked openly about changing the culture. At best, we disagreed vocally, and left it at that...

cantleave

Never experienced shouting, but saw a fair bit of emotional bullying. If one elder disagreed with a majority he was made to feel that he was inhibiting the operation of the spirit.

iknowall558

Yes, I remember, after many years of putting up with a lot of crap in my life that i was in the 'depressed' category and could get away with stuff, due to my state of mind. I used it to my advantage and remember telling the elders and CO that I viewed them as nothing more than men......they were in my house one day ......I was an 'assigned' visit........and had a glass of wine before they came....and a glass of wine when they were there......not out of brazeness but out of necessity......they didnt bat an eyelid...and neither did i. They let me rant on and it felt good. They were there to ask me if I was ok after being raped.......which i wasnt........but was sexually assaulted, and I told them, that for 2 MEN to come and ask a WOMAN details of their ordeal and how they felt was way off...........they remained silent for two hours while I polished off the rest of my wine.....happy days. Things changed for me after that....! I was no longer scared.

Kind of off topic ...sorry x

aSphereisnotaCircle

One elder had a screaming fit directed at my JW ex-husband.

It was right before the meeting started and my hubby had the audacity to reach behind the counter to grab his own magazines.

Apparently non-ranking JW males are forbidden to put any part of their bodies behind the book counter.

I don't know what was going on in this elders private life but he just went apeshit screaming, the entire congregation went quiet and just stared.

SnakesInTheTower

I have witnessed many shouting matches, including vulgarities, used during elders meetings....and even during regular service meetings...

I remember when the hall I grew up in was trying to decide to rebuild, move locations, build new, build with the sister congo, not build with them...and there were heated shouting from the PO from the platform and more than one brother in the audience...during the meeting...in front of R&F. It took years and the intervention of a CO to finally determine to build together at a new location....I dont think those hurt feelings have ever healed.

As for elders meetings.....In particular, the congregation that I was first appointed as an elder is a perfect example of this shouting match. AT the time there were three black elders and four white elders self included, in a congregation that pretty well matched that ratio. One of the white elders, then the congregation secretary, is a racist. He resented the PO because he was not "in his place," being the PO instead of a mere regular elder.... though of course the racist elder did not voice that directly. This racist elder also caused hell for a MS who went from being a postal carrier to a fire fighter.... it was OK for the MS to be a carrier because the father of the PO was a retired postal carrier and it was deemed menial labor by the racist elder...but when the young MS became a firefighter...watch out.... now the MS had overstepped his "place" in the eyes of the racist elder. Yeah, this guy was a piece of work...

But it showed in his attitude and actions toward blacks in the congregation, including his fellow black elders. This white elder, in his late 50s/early 60s then, was a member of a private hunting club in town that, until not long ago, unofficially only admitted white folks. Admittance to the club was by referral only...and of course, there were only white men for the longest time. Why a JW elder would be part of a hunting club is beyond me based on their views of association and hunting....but the CO came through and pretty well told this elder to resign his membership...which he did...or so he said.... lol.

During one particular elders' meeting, this white secretary and one of the black elders got into a shouting match. This black elder is (or was then) much loved by the congregation....yet, if they could have heard these two elders behind closed doors (actually if the KH had been otherwise occupied, they could have heard them through closed doors).... the black elder dropped the F bomb on the white elder a couple of times. I witnessed it personally. At the time I thought a) the white elder deserved it and b) both of them should be deleted as elders in light of their rather hypocritical behavior. In retrospect I still believe a) and b) but for different reasons. Now I just think both of them are hypocrites based on many of their actions, both in and out of the JW organization.

On a personal note, in the last congregation that I was an elder, I had to be literally held down in my chair during a couple of elders meetings for fear that I was going to come across the conference table and slug a certain jack ass elder...he was always trying to get me to trip up and paint me in a corner to give him ammo to have me deleted. He was the one I have written about before who gunned for me to not be reappointed when I first arrived, then when unsuccessful in that, gunned for my removal the 3 years I was there. And I would have punched his lights out had they not held me back. I am not a violent person normally, but he hacked me off as the ultimate hypocrite..

so yeah....such unity among "princes of men." **gag**

Snakes (Rich )