Frustrated

by Luo bou to 9 Replies latest jw friends

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  Luo bou to

  No Doe Not that kind.

  Like many of you I have family and friends that are the living dead. I see them but they don't see me. They can walk straight past me as if I don't exist. I'd like to bury them, morn the loss and accept that I can no longer relate to them, but they are still walking around and as Pope said " Hope springs eternal in the human breast" I am a fighter, but this cult mindset is so elusive. I can't nail my opponent and its hard for me to change what I can and accept what I can't. It's frustrating.
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  LouBelle

  Honestly it is their choice. I accept it as there is nothing else to do - I have gotten to the stage where it doesn't hurt and I'm starting to "see" them less and less. One has to make your peace with it and accept that this is one thing you cannot change - that's when the healing starts.
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  Luo bou to

  I hear you LouBelle and your right. While I accept that it is their choice.... it is not an informed choice but one based on mind controll.... they actually believe they are showing me love. If it was really their choice then I would accept and forget them. Can you hold someone accountable when they don't know what they are doing?
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  Balsam

  Luo Bou to moving away from them and never seeing them again and mourning them as dead to you can be so releasing. I did it with all those JW who are family and friends and release them as having no ties to me. You may not be able to move now but someday you will be able too and just getting away even to a town 50 miles away can work wonders for feeling better. Out of sight is out of mind in time.

  This is what helped me, I moved 55 miles away from where I used to live and I began to forget JW exist which is awesome.

  Ruth
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  VoidEater

  It's kinda like racism when I see it, or any other prejudice:

  "I can only control my self, not any other person on the planet."

  Since I have no way to change their prejudice, I have no need to engage with them. I can only go about living my own life. If they can change their minds (perhaps by noticing that my life is fine and no one else has the problems they do), that can be their choice, too.
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  Luo bou to

  Well I am an Australian their in Australia and I am living in China. Is that far enough away Balsam
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  White Dove

  I moved 3,000 miles from the Pacific Ocean to the Atlantic. That was the best move I've ever made. I'll be moving soon from Delly-Where to Phoenix, AZ, only about 1,200 miles away but still far enough.
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  Luo bou to

  Well said VoidEater. Very helpfull I'm getting old and like old men I tend to look back on what could have been. I'll snap out of it
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  flipper

  LUO BOU TO- What helps me with JW relatives who shun me is I look at it as their loss. I know I'm a good person who'd be a good influence in their lives . But if they choose to do the shunning , then, " Oh well it's their loss. " I have nothing to hang my head in shame about, nor do you.

  If your family in time overcomes their mind control - then at that time they will once again be a positive influence in your life. But until then - be sure to value yourself and the positive impact that YOU alone bring to society. Hang in there. I feel for what you are going through. I experience the sae thing
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  wantstoleave

  My dad talks about my brother as 'the living dead' because he is neither in nor out...never Df, but isn't an active witness. I hate that expression, living dead...and I had never heard it before until my dad said it..and now you. It's just so sad that this religion can shun flesh and blood because of beliefs :( Luckily my brother isn't shunned, but if he was Df, I wonder if it would be a different story :(