When i left 10 years ago, i still believed, i just didn't want to live the life. Up until a few days ago i kinda still felt they were gods oganization.
But after a while i stopped caring about it and got on with life. I joined no other religion. Didn't start doing Xmas or birthdays until i remarried into a great family. I was not seeking answers, nor comfort from god. I do not care if he is there or not, nor what he may plan.
Today i call myself Godless. The witnesses will tell you 'Godless' means a servant of Satan. You know, the ol "if you aint for us you must be against us" mentality. To me it means i am free to live my life my way. I hurt nobody, dont do drugs, pay my taxes etc.
I do not like to be told by others that i live by christian principles . I am not a christian. But i am extraordinarily happy. Having a religion or belief is not a prerequsite for happiness.
I have seen some return to the 'fold' not i believe because they want to but because they are unable to cope outside. I did not find the world to be an awful place, certainly no worse that what people say they experienced inside the organization anyway. Outside i have found true love and acceptance that i never found inside. I have found a world of non judgemental real friends. But if you want to find trouble its not hard.
Being inside the organization is VERY insulating. A bit like this illustration:
One day a little baby was born, he was always a sickly little thing so mum and dad kept him home all his life. He never played in dirt or ate a snail, never caught the measels from a school friend because, well, he didn't have friends and he was home schooled too. Always looking out the window being told how bad the world was for him, why, johhny it's just too dangerous out there. All sorts of things will harm you. So like a good boy he stayed put. Just trust me and your mum son, we love you soooo much. Years went by and by the time he was 16 his parents had him living in a plastic bubble. But, he had never been sick in his whole life! NEVER! What wonderful caring parents he had! But at night he would have dreams about the 'outside' and of being an architect.
Still the years rolled on, Dad took extra shifts to provide for his growing son, after all, he couldn't very well go out and get a job now could he? So there he sat well into his 30s. A grown man, with dreams and ideas crippled by the 'love' of the parents. Well one day he just plain had enough. "i'd rather die out there than stay in this bubble" he thought. So when dad went to work and Mum was sleeping, he escaped! Off he ran into the night, sucking in all the fresh air his lungs would hold. Then he stopped and started wheezing... Was mum right? was he going to die? He turned around, "perhaps they ARE right" he thought, after all they had warned him for years the outside would kill him. His body had no natural imunity to anything. But he pushed on and next morning his parents were besides themselves. He called them, they accused him of being an ungrateful son. They looked after every thing now he just ran away. They warned him he had better come back lest he perish in that world of germs.
Johnny caught every cold known to man. The Flu nearly killed him. But after each bout he got stronger. To the point where he was as good as the next man. Sure it was scary at times, and he nearly ran home to the security of the bubble a couple of times. But he stayed independant and was happy. He grew into a man who could think forhimself and make his own decisions.
Now, it could just as easily have gone the other way, he could have run home again and if he did, he might still be there today. Protected by the bubble, never getting sick again, and mum and dad saying 'i told you so'. Safe but not happy, not fullfilled.
Mind you, that first cold could just as easily killed him then and there with an almighty asthma attack.
There are no guarentees. No right path afterward.
Some leave and start trying every forbidden thing they can find and crawl home and even die full of addictions and disease. Others still need a place to belong to and join another religion, some become angry and bitter, some return after an adventure. Some just worship in their own way, some become athiests, others struggle with the legacy of years of 'bubbledom', and missed oportunities.
hope that this helps you 'cold steel' , probably didn't need the little story but i just felt creative!
cheers!
