Abuse and JWs

by babygirl30 4 Replies latest jw friends

  • babygirl30
    babygirl30

    What bothers me most about DF'ing is not only the shunning, but the constant verbal reminders (by elders and the JW pubs) that Jehovah has 'taken his holy spirit' away from you. Its sad cause the whole scenario of being a JW is like living with an abuser:

    ABUSE: Abuser comes on strong - is sweet and falls in love quickly vs JWs: Love bombed and drawn into the org by association

    ABUSE: sets the stage for isolation from family and friends vsJWs: sets the stage for isolation from 'non JW' family and friends

    ABUSE: Once you marry/move in with abuser, you are HIS property vsJWs: once baptized, you are the WBTS's property

    ABUSE: convinces you that HE is the authority on all vsJWs: convinces you that WBTS is authority on all

    ABUSE: threatens that if you leave him, NOBODY will want you vsJWs: if you leave JWs, you are threatened with NO association

    ABUSE: You are constantly trying to do more to make HIM happy vs JWs: you are constantly trying to do more to make WBTS/CO/elders happy

    ABUSE: Uses power and control to manipulate you to see things HIS way vs JWs: use power and control to manipulate you to see things THEIR way

    ABUSE: make you believe HE will leave you if you don't do as he wants vs JWS: make you believe THEY will let you go (DF) if you don't do as WBTS wants

    ABUSE: Trying to leave him is not as easy as walking away vs JWs: leaving the org is NOT as easy as just not coming or walking away

    ABUSE: takes everything away or witholds from you when you leave HIM as a ploy to get you to come back vs JWs: takes everything away from you when you are DF'd in order for you to come back

    ABUSE: expects YOU to make amends (beg and plead) with HIM in order to go back vs JWs: expect YOU to make amends with them (reinstatement letter) to 'beg' for forgiveness to be accepted back

    ABUSE: the threat of losing everything will keep you locked in the bad relationship out of fear vs JWs: the threat of losing your whole association and standing will keep you in the org out of fear

    ABUSE:you are NOT permitted to talk to any exes of his (for fear of him being exposed) vs JWs: you cannot read outside publiscations or talk to ex members because the org does not want to be exposed

    Am I wrong here? I just feel like there are TOO many comparisons...it's actually kinda scarey. Anymore to add?????

  • AdaMakawee
    AdaMakawee

    Yes, both abusers and cults use these same tactics. It's all about power.

  • Butterflyleia85
    Butterflyleia85

    I like how you laid out your post, babygirl30! Yelp I agree... It's pretty sad really... How they twist it and make it seem like this is being humble by taking the abuse.

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    You got it. There is no difference in how abusers work. It doesn't matter if it was 1 person or a group of people , a club, a fraternity or a cult. The tactics are the same.

    That is probably why Lalich and Tobias refer to both in their book Take Back Your Life.

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    I would also add that learning to identify these tactics will help you from getting involved in any other kind of abusive relatioinship.

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