by bohm 8 Replies latest jw friends
Im fading...and I have a lot of problems in getting my parents to talk with me about a lot of things... Especially my "worldly" boyfriend Bohm. Have any of you tried something likewise?
My parents wont see him - and we have been together for a year now... I really miss the close relationship I had to my family before... I dont understand why they wont even talk with him.
How can I convinse them into meeting him?
Love, Miss Bohm
Oooops I forgot to give my post a title..
It sounds like your parents are hostile to meeting your "worldly" boyfriend so why do you have the need to push him on your parents and put him through that kind of drama?
Responses may differ depending on your age.
No need to be exact but early-mid-late teens - each would be handled differently
20's and living at home vs 30's and living on own also different responses.
Living with the bf? or living with the parents?? or living on own???
Me? My parents didn't want to know about any of my boyfriends so I snuck out. I was active witness in good standing at the time.
Now I'm in my 40's and have a little different view and wish I could have handled things differently rather than by living a double life.
-Aude.
Im in the early twenties and he is in the late twenties. I have not lived at home since I was 19. Im living at my own.
Since I began fading away from the socalled truth, I have missed the close relationship I had with my parents... I love them so much...even though they treat me this way.
My boyfriend and I are planning to get married, it would be terrible if my family refused to come to the wedding... So im a little desperate. Furthermore I have very old grandparents, whom I would like to introduce to my boyfriend before they die... Well, there is a lot of reasons why I would love my family to get to know Bohm.
Do you know any scriptures, or do you have any advice for a person in my situation? Personally I find it strange that a christian family cant welcome another person into their house without prejudism, when my inlaws who are atheists have been welcomming me without any questions.
Love, Miss Bohm
I wish I had advice for you to help soften your parents but I'm afraid that my own experiences with my parents are not that positive. I've tried and tried to get my parents to accept my husband but to no avail. Recently my parents have become more devout jws and it's only made their stance worst and more hateful. And it's really affected my husband who can't understand why my parents hate him so. He's a very likeable guy and has always been respectful towards my parents. So I guess what I'm trying to say is that you can't change your parents but you can required that they be respectful towards your man and your upcoming marriage.
Honey,
Your path out of the so called truth will never be accepted by your parents. You've lost your blinders and become engaged to a boy unacceptable to your JW parents. All they want is for you to remain in the JW's get married to a JW. They want their grandchildren in the JW's otherwise they don't feel they can accept your future husband or their future grandchildren. You have to make your choice and run for freedom and accept your parents are not going to support your position and perhaps even refuse to come to your wedding. Your facing the same thing if your grandparents are JW's. The only thing JW parents feel when their kids walk away from the so called truth is sadness and grief as though you have died. You can't expect anything else unless they choose to leave too.
So many kids leave the witnesses expecting their parents to love them wholely and unconditionally only to learn that JW love for their kids is conditional in ways they could never have dreamed. Let your intended family become your new family and live aand be happy.
Plan your life without your parents, send them an invite to the wedding but know that chances are they will never come to it. The JW love is conditional upon your willingness to remain a JW happy or not. Sorry dear its not what you want to hear.
Ruth - EX-JW Mom
Just got an e-mail from my grandmum...I wrote her first - told her daily-stuff she used to like to hear about - only now; I mentioned my boyfriend also... I really hoped she would comment on that - she wasnt a JW when she was young, and I thought she might understand what im going throug as opposed to my parents who was born in to the religion... But sadly...in her answering e-mail, she didnt comment on anything I wrote about my boyfriend.
I feel really sorry now. Guess this is harder than I thought it would be... I have tried to reach them - but they are not willing to grap my hand.
Its like they all think they are doing me a favour by not speaking about him, but just ignore all about my new life.
I know it's hard to hear and I still wrestle with this even after almost 17 years of marriage to my husband who my parents have never accepted but your family may never let your boyfriend/soon to be hubby in. It will be something that just is. It's not fair, it's not loving, it just is. It's been so hard for my husband and I to accept because my husband is a good man but to my parents he will always be that good for nothing worldly man who dared to marry their daughter (not that being their daughter is any picnic).
So I for one do feel your pain and I hope like heck that one day your family's hearts will soften.
Josie
