don't cha just feel the love

by booby 6 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  booby

  two comments from a yahoo group

  I deal with depression myself so I can understand what you and your son
  deal with. I have found out that dealing with it can help one to gain a
  measure of self control. One time a brother from my call came over and we
  talked for a bit. He said I need to put a smile on my face more often when
  I go to the hall. I explained to him about the depression and how it makes
  this difficult. He replied that other people at the congregation had
  depression and were able to put in a happy face when they went to the
  meeting. Lucky them. They either don't have it as bad as I do or are able
  to get hold of some kind of effective treatment. The self control came
  into play when I resisted the urge to say to this guy what I wanted to.

  all we really need is someone who is understanding and caring and willing to listen to our feelings without judging us. Some don't have that, they just have those who are critical or tell them to "snap out of it". Those kind of people are afraid of "feeling" anything, including Christian love. Christian love involves being empathetic to another's feelings. Jesus, I can assure you, would never tell anyone to "snap out of it" or "put a smile on your face". I so enjoy listening to talks by Bro. Ianelli. His talks reflect such Christlike empathy. "God is Greater Than Your Hearts" "Do You Have the Mind of Christ?""Comfort" ---and more, have been so encouraging not only for those who are depressed but also for others to learn what it means to show empathy.
• 

  Billy the Ex-Bethelite

  "Put a smile on your face" made me even more depressed, hiding my real and honest feelings in many of the crappy situations that I've endured. Very bad advice, in my opinion.
• 

  SirNose586

  The elder's advice is to wear a mask to hide your pain. Maybe the other drones can do it only with the aid of Xanax or Zoloft. But that still doesn't solve the depression.
• 

  trueblue

  I have noticed that too, they don't give a _____ about your feelings.

  I think it is because they are afraid you will bring reproach on Jehovah's name, I mien that you would be bad advertisement for the devil to gain control of more customers...
• 

  AdaMakawee

  One of the last meetings I ever attended had a talk given by a pos ministerial servant dumb as a box of rox, if it weren't for his family he wouldn't have been qualified to run the mikes. Anyway, his talk was on depression. He opined there are two types of depression. "Real" depression, where you lose a loved one in death, or where something catastrophic happens. -or- the fake kind, where you have the blues for no good reason. In the one case time and the old sky god will cure it. In the other case you need to pull yourself up by the bootstraps and quit whining and get on with your life, after all, how dare we say we have faith if we can't even kick the blues.

  Yes, stirring, wasn't it? The depths of the lack of knowledge never ceases to amaze me.

  Ada
• 

  ESTEE

  Ada wrote,

  "Real" depression, where you lose a loved one in death, or where something catastrophic happens. -or- the fake kind, where you have the blues for no good reason. In the one case time and the old sky god will cure it. In the other case you need to pull yourself up by the bootstraps and quit whining and get on with your life, after all, how dare we say we have faith if we can't even kick the blues. ... Yes, stirring, wasn't it? The depths of the lack of knowledge never ceases to amaze me. Ada

  Yup, the elders are "qualified" teachers and healers ...

  Elders, by calling it "fake" depression, are not validating the person's feeling. Yet, a real therapist will validate what their client is feeling. No one can never tell someone else that they don't (or can't) feel a certain way. Feelings are real and deserve acknowledgment, especially when it is something like depression.

  Big surprise that people are leaving the WT by droves!

  People get depressed when they feel disempowered. To me, this means all jws are depressed because they have given over their free will to the WT. The members have nothing left to do but feel depressed, because it is not normal for a human to have no free will.

  Depression is the body's way of saying, "hey, listen to me. There is something here that needs attention!"

  Great thread!

  ESTEE
• 

  WTWizard

  What is the root cause of most of this problem? Poverty, stagnation, not being good enough, always having everything you really want to do being put on hold for field circus, and all those petty rules that everyone is trying to make sure you are obeying (or report to the hounders if you are not). To add one more rule to make the appearance of happiness only adds that much more to the problem.