Lack of tolerance shown by elder bodies

by Truthexplorer 3 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

• 

  Truthexplorer

  This question is specifically to ex elders or anyone with some insight to my question.

  I read in the flock book (which I downloaded of the internet recently ) that elders were to

  Take the initiative to help anyone in the congregation who has taken some false step: do your best to readjust him (Gal 6:1)

  It then mentions the following:

  Yet, do not create ill will toward a weak one in the congregation who is being helped.

  keep watch over their souls, since you will render an account for them too (Heb 13:17)

  Discern the difference between a weak person and a wicked person.

  My question is this; Is there a level of tolerance elders succumb to? For example, a young brother who is obviously showing signs of depression (not diagnosed), but misses meetings every now and then, gets help from the elders, but may perhaps lapse back again (missing meetings etc basically a little bit up and down when it comes to attendance). Yet that brother, though struggling with his own feelings is trying to attend meetings etc. Is there a point in what you may have experienced/witnessed, where elders simply throw in the towel and simply ignore that brother who is obviously struggling to adjust to his new faith. Have you ever heard elders talk amongst themselves or make comments like 'he's a no hoper' (or the like).

  Also, do elders talk amonst themselves to discuss if an individual is weak or wicked for whatever the reason. For eg.. if a brother they deem to be both weak (obviously needing encouragement), yet is considered wicked also (lets say they like to bring the KJV bible to meetings and is perhaps doing things slightly diffrenetly-not putting their report slip in etc)... As a body, do the elders talk it over as to how they view such a person-do they mark them-ignore them-watch them like a hawk etc.

  Just wondered how the rules (as mentioned from the flock book above) generally affect elder practice and the BOE as a whole?

  TE
• 

  Billy the Ex-Bethelite

  My experience? Most BoEs will make it up as they go along. Most are too busy to get that involved helping the weak ones. The bOrg already expects much of the elders with their assignments and trying to have a perfect family, along with as many hours as possible in the futile recruiting work. Those that are sincere and put forth effort to help weak ones usually find themselves exhausted trying to drag some of these along, finally get them on their feet and active. The moment the elder looks away, the weak one is fading again. So, most of the elders figure the weak prefer to be weak.

  It all gets very frustrating since elders are really untrained and get vague and conflicting instruction, but are expected to be able to fix everything. As your quote from the Flock book instructs to hound them and somehow read their mind to find out if they're weak or wicked, hound the weak to get active but not too much to make them mad, and do it right or Jehovah will destroy you. Regardless of what they try, things almost never really improve and when the CO comes, it's YOUR fault that the weak aren't doing better. Of course, the CO will come along every 6 months and get everyone worked up into a spiritual lather for a grand total of 10 days out of the entire year. But he leaves, and it all pretty much goes back to the same old, same old.

  Ones that are just weak and not making waves, get cut some slack and may get limited "privileges" (sorry, just the brothers there. You have to have a penis to get privileges), depending on the need and availability locally. Those you describe as only using KJV are considered bizarre and depending on their quirks may be included/excluded in activities and association. Not reporting time, those are irregular or inactive and handled according to local BoE and CO guesswork. "Wicked" is more like the ones flirting with outright wrongdoing. Like the guy stringing along several different sisters, nearly engaged to one, but caught 'fondling' another. Or the brother reported to engage in questionable business practices, repeated over-drinking, or abusing his family.

  This all reminds me of how I used to think that being appointed an elder would give me the tools and training to really help the sheeples to do better, be better, and get everybody happified for perfect, everlasting life. In a very short time after I was appointed, I was so disappointed, disillusioned, and really felt helpless. I tried to be a good elder led by Holy Spirit, but what can you do when it's all just a cult?
• 

  cantleave

  The whole organisational culture revolves around labelling and judging others, som inevitably someone who becomes irregular and meetings or FS is given a label.

  As an Elder it was my responsibility to look at the attendance and field service hours put in by members of my group. I would try to encourage individuals to do more by inviting them to work with me or my wife or getting them involved with some sort of social activity. If there was no response I knew that if I didn't raise it with the other Elders, some smart alec would highlight that there was a spritually weak person in my group and it would appear that I wasn't doing a great deal to help them. This would result in me bring proactive and pre-emptive by saying "Bro. Weak hasn't responded to my help, doesn't want shepherding calls and would appear to have something of a rebellious spirit".

  This would generate a lot of discussion and some strategies to help the brother and would mean that I no longer had full responsibility. The strategies rarely worked (usually because no one had the time to follow them through), and the most that happened was asking Brother weak to retrospectively give some FS hour before the CO vivit so he wasn't counted as inactive.
• 

  Truthexplorer

  Billy the ex bethelite

  My experience? Most BoEs will make it up as they go along. Most are too busy to get that involved helping the weak ones. The bOrg already expects much of the elders with their assignments and trying to have a perfect family, along with as many hours as possible in the futile recruiting work. Those that are sincere and put forth effort to help weak ones usually find themselves exhausted trying to drag some of these along, finally get them on their feet and active. The moment the elder looks away, the weak one is fading again. So, most of the elders figure the weak prefer to be weak.

  and cantleave

  The strategies rarely worked (usually because no one had the time to follow them through), and the most that happened was asking Brother weak to retrospectively give some FS hour before the CO vivit so he wasn't counted as inactive.

  Wow, that is really insightful; I never looked at it from that angle before. I can fully understand why elders are so exhausted given so many tasks to do (So much for the load being light). Yes it is interesting to see why in many cases, they are just too tired out to carry weaker ones along. It is also interesting that although strategies may be put in place to help weaker ones that there simply isnt the time to commit to following through.

  It is also incredible to think that elders are under such pressure to get the figures in for the CO!! I mean, persuading an inactive publisher to get an hour in before the CO visit is laughable; the whole set up of reporting FS hours is an absolute joke. Sounds to me like fear of man than fear of God.

  That was and still is one of my gripes-having to produce a report slip each month. When will the men at the top realise that the preaching work should be done out of love for God (not an obligation to fill out a slip with a publishers quota for the month!!).

  Thanks to both of you for giving me a view from an elders perspective.

  TE