For the record, my real name is not David. I just have been fascinated on how close my journey has matched his (critisized by my wife, elders trying to assasinate me spiritually, horny as anything) and have always respected the way King David handled himself and was still loved by Jehovah despite imperfection.
Now I find that my son whom I have raised since 2 (now 15) is either disrespecting me or purposely listening to the lies about me from his mother and those in the congregation and hurting me either directly and indirectly. And now find myself trying to figure out how to handle the situation.
His mother tells him that I am not his "real father" (despite adopting him, giving him my name and raising him for 11+ years) and that he has to honor Jehovah by going out in service Saturdays and meetings on Sundays instead of visitation with me (with his sisters, my blood) as "Jehovah's service is more important than association with an unbeliever". He associates with ones in the hall that spread untruths about me (they get back to me - amazing how an organization that refers to itself as the truth, sure spreads a lot of untruths about those no longer associated) and puts up with his mothers abuse (she was hard on him when I was there - I believe her to be a man hater as I was her 2nd husband and she always hated any council for women - and my daughters tell me stories of how she treats him now) and he never seeks me out to associate with me if I do not ask to speak with him. This weekend was the first he came in 8 months, and the second time in over a year. He had his mother drop him off at 11 PM Friday (I pick up the girls at 4), went out in service Saturday till 1:30, then took off with buddies at 4 informing me he wanted to spend the night with them so he could go to the meeting Sunday and would be back around 2. He showed up at 5:30 and said he had a ride home.
So here is my dilema, am I just getting token fathership? If I accept this behaviour, will his sisters feel that blowing their father off is acceptable because I never got mad at their brother? Should I DF him in a sense to let his sisters know I won't tolerate disrespect (even though I disagree with "DF", but perhaps more or less cut him off)? Do I give him the prodigal son routine and tell him to take off and not bother playing with my heart until he is ready to come back or do I just let him treat me like a crazy uncle he only sees once in awhile? Any thoughts and suggestions would be appreciated and taken into consideration, but I have to say that Absolom's (not his real name) treatment of me hurts. And I am not used to being treated this way (except by his mother whom I left). My family (except for my one sister) do not see him and desire to. My mother (still in) loves him like her other grandchildren, but he never attempts to contact her either, nor does my ex encourage it.
Any ideas?
