Got this in my email

by stillin 8 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • stillin
    stillin

    APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER

    Name_______________________ Date of Birth________________ Height_________ Weight______
    Date of Baptism ____________IQ___________ GPA_______ Social Security No._______________________
    Driver License No.______________________

    Home Address__________________________________________________________________________

    Are your parents in the truth?_________ One or both?____________ How long have your parents been married?____________

    Have you ever served at Bethel? If so why aren't you still there?



    Do you own an appropriate field service vehicle?___________

    Make and Model____________________________________


    How many Hours, Mags, and RV's have you averaged over the past year?____________________________________


    What spiritual goals do you presently have?
    1.
    2.
    3.
    4.
    5.
    6.
    7.
    8.
    9..
    10.
    Additional space in the back!

    In 50 words or less, what does the word "LATE" mean to you?




    In 50 words or less, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to you?


    What congregation do you attend?___________________________________ How often?___________


    Please provide names and phone numbers for the following:

    Presiding Overseer______________________________
    Secretary _____________________________________
    Service Overseer________________________________
    Circuit Overseer________________________________
    District Overseer________________________________
    Zone Overseer _________________________________

    When would be the best time to interview your parents? __________

    When would be the best time to interview your Presiding Overseer? _________

    Have you pre-planned your funeral? __________
    Funeral Director's name and address_________________________________
    Answer the following questions honestly. All answers will be kept strictly confidential
    A. Name the 12 apostles___________________________________________________________________________
    B. From memory, can you name the books of the Bible forward and backward? If not, why?________________________
    C. If you were beaten and every bone broken in your body (because you tried to kiss my daughter) do you feel you would be entitled to a resurrection? ______
    D. A woman's place is in the _______________________________________________________________________
    E. What do you want to be IF you grow up?__________________________________________________

    I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE.
    ______________________________________
    Signature

    Thank you for your interest in my daughter. Please allow two to four years for processing. You will be notified in writing if your application is approved. In the meantime, DO NOT ATTEMPT TO CALL OR WRITE MY DAUGHTER, due to risk of personal injury. Of course, should you become an elder in the congregation in the meantime, then we would consider your application sooner.
    NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor.

  • VIII
    VIII

    The *GPA* is the only thing that doesn't really fit within the WT dogma

  • stillin
    stillin

    I know, and it would be funny if it weren't so sad...

  • VIII
    VIII

    Tell us you aren't trying to date a JW gal. Please!

  • stillin
    stillin

    I'm pretty sure it's a gag. It made ME gag!

  • doublelife
    doublelife

    A brother that I went to pioneer school with emailed this to me a few years back.

  • LoriJis
    LoriJis

    i remember someone gave this to my father when i started to date so they could give it to my current husband.....oh well - guess it didnt work - LOL

  • Nathan Natas
    Nathan Natas

    it's a good thing no JW would ever consider identity theft using the personal information requested.

  • meangirl
    meangirl

    To me shows how shallow witnesses are especially the question "are your parents in the "truth" and if so "one or both" and oh "have you ever been to Bethel".....Those things don't mean a thing. So stupid.

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