Does anyone know any good audio hypnosis cds...or a good psychological book or excellent read that's saved their marriage from the brink of destruction by overcoming insecurities (particularly jealousy)?
fishing for ideas..
Overcoming Jealousy
by SeekingSanity 5 Replies latest jw friends
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Sam Whiskey
I respectfully reply, not in a malicious way SS, but in a kind way. You don't need a book to figure out the jealousy issues, just stop it. If you truly love each other, just stop it! And show some love! You don't need a book for that.
A book just puts off the inevitable, having to correct your faulty patterns. So save yourself some money, and find that place that you both fell in love. You'll find you don't need a book, you just need some "I'm sorry's" and some "I love you's".
The rest will fix itself and you'll have a little bit more cash in your pocket.
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SeekingSanity
Thank you Sam..
although i appreciate the reply, i feel like you don't fully understand. To say 'stop it' ..is like telling a drug addicted person....to just 'STOP it' ...My ex did me wrong...i never had a problem like this before in my relationships..but my ex cheated on me, and now this relationship is being affected. because i have this weird belief that all women cheat. And although it's not logical...it creates a huge imaginary process of i'm not good enoguh...insecurity..etc.. to the point where the 'what if's ' turn into real life poissibilities. It's not easy to change your thought process, but the mere fact that i'm seeking help to save my relationship should deserve some merit. I see a fault....that I am attempting to correct. But when i feel POSSESSED by this overwhelming feeling...that convinces me that she's doing somethign when she isn't, that's when i have a problem. We both have things we need to work on....we both have things we're dealaing with... This part is mine....as she has hers. But simple 'i'm sorry's ...are overly used if the core of the problem isn't deal with.. The insecurities. and we say I love you 3-4 times a DAY. Particularly when we are leaving and going etc.. My point is...There's a huge process involved in learning to trust someone again...when the glass has been shattered. And when you put the pieces together, you get pricked and bleed. i am tryin to put my glass together again...and when i look at other people.....their glass is unbroken...and she looks at me....and see's it shattered and being put together...and how easy it is for her to just go with someone else...creates a problem. Although she repeatedly tells me how much she likes helping me ...her mothering/nurturing side comes out of where she wants to take care of me...show me love..etc.. She is patient..But i genuinely don't want this problem anymore.....and i need a solution for it. to 'stop it' ...is like saying stop having a broken glass! it'll fix itself! .....when we all know that the flat tire on the car wont repair on it's own, but requires work and effort. I see the flat....but i don't know how to fix....so i ask for adivce....and self help books on figuring our what is the poblem exactly...and , more importantly, how to fix it
Thank you nonetheless.
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asilentone
try to ask JGNAT, she does not come here much, you can PM her and she does give very good suggestions. She has the brains!
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carpediem
Seeking Sanity
I am sorry you are in this situation. I was cheated on several times in the past by one particular man. By the time we finally split I was in pieces, ended up in a mental hospital for two weeks, and a suspicion developed in me that has never left me to this day. Whilst I still have a tendency to feel jealous, I have learned to manage it. One of the ways is by having plenty to do in my life. As there are so many things that are important to me now, my entire focus isn't on my relationship. I also try to spend quality time with my husband. That can be quite difficult as he is still in the org but if you can do stuff together at every opportunity, you will feel closer and that may help you feel stronger and more confident in the relationship. I dont really know of any books, although I have read many relationship books in the past, but I did see a marriage guidance counsellor by myself, to sort out the issues that were going on in my head. Jealousy is a horrible feeling and quite destructive as you know, so I hope you manage to sort it out and feel a peace and security - no pun intended!!
Carpediem
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