Photos: Paradise Earth Unmasked - how it will really be in the new system

by kurtbethel 5 Replies latest jw friends

  • kurtbethel
    kurtbethel

    The Watchtower publishes corny pictures about the New System TM that are well known, but the prophets over at Popular Mechanics have channeled images from the future and I am pleased to present what one can really expect if they survive Armageddon.

    So fasten your seatbelts, hold on tight, and here we go.

    paradise

    Field service in paradise will be a challenge with so many people slaughtered
    and the survivors living so far apart. Not to worry. Clever conveyance methods
    will be developed to meet the challenge.

    paradise

    It turns out those lion petting opportunities will be quite a distance
    from the vegetable gardens. This will be overcome by transportation
    methods such as this skybus. Now you can quickly get from digging turnips
    to petting lions, and still be able to get home to read the new scrolls.

    paradise

    No one ever said that a little cash could not be made in paradise.
    How about a few sheckels for transporting literature across
    bodies of water?

    paradise

    Innovative new sports will be developed that do not have any
    ties to those bad pagan sports of the Old System. TM

    paradise

    Was your sweetheart annointed and went to heaven, leaving you
    behind alone in paradise? No problem! You can sneak up there for
    visits. Unfortunately, they will not have the equipment for making
    those visits conjugal, but you can still hug and kiss.

    paradise

    Amazing field service vehicles will be at your disposal.

    paradise

    Fleeing from demons and temptation will be easy with this rig.
    Should anyone go apostate and you are required to shun them,
    you can flee from them in great haste also.

    paradise

    Since no one bothered to get an education and learn how to
    distill fuels from petroleum, running your mower will require some
    ingenuity. Or maybe the sheep will get up from snuggling with
    lions and trim the grass, and this guy is really using this as a bong.

    paradise

    When the fuels run out from those refineries no one knows how
    to operate any more, this will be just the thing for getting around.

    paradise

    Oops! I slipped this in by mistake. It is the Old System TM being destroyed
    and is a reminder of what awaits you if you do not follow the direction
    of the Governing Body. See, it even has the little dog being in peril
    as seen in a lavishly illustrated Watchtower publication.

  • Billy the Ex-Bethelite
    Billy the Ex-Bethelite

    Food at the Proper Time!

  • The Almighty Homer
    The Almighty Homer

    Your so zealous Kurtbethel, you are a true blessing to Jehovah.

    Your Ministry Report is as follows :

    Pose and presentation - G

    Mocking of the nature of the information - G

    Satirically humorous - G

  • poopsiecakes
    poopsiecakes

    LOL - this is priceless! Great job, now I have to clean my keyboard from the spewing wine....it's all good though! hahaha

    I especially love the caption 'let's abolish stupid speed limits' - not really related to paradise earth but hear hear!!!!!!!

  • Leolaia
    Leolaia

    Is that a young Fred Rogers on the sea bike?

  • villabolo

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