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OrangeVale Bob

An open letter to my virtual congregation.
Last night I opened a bottle of Chardonnay with dinner. Within a short time the county had another bottle to recycle and I had a muddled brain. I know better than to drink and drive, but I hadn't learned not to drink and surf.
I presently don't have the time to go back and read any posts I made, and interestingly enough, I can't quite recall what I wrote.
To any of you that I may have offended, angered or bored (most likely bored), I heartily apologize.
If I had a headache, I would refuse to take an aspirin. Maybe I'll go bang my head against the wall a few times and then refuse to take any aspirin!
OVB (slinking away into the shadows with my tail between my legs)

larc

Hey OVD,

You don't have to confess to us. We're not the elders. If you hadn't told us, we would have never known. As Henry Ford II used to say "Don't complain and don't explain." Words to live by, both at work and at play.

Simon

You mean it's OK to post sober?

mommy

LOL SIMON
you are always making me laugh! thanx
I just hope i am laughing with and not at:)
mommy

waiting

Hey Bob,

You surely must be proper when sober - because I certainly didn't think you too loose when laid back with some wine.

You might want to think about this, brother.

We think you're just fine, anyway you wanna be here.

waiting

ps - another young male poster counseled me not to post when having wine - makes me odder than normal. yeah, right.

Edited by - waiting on 30 December 2000 17:59:17

OrangeVale Bob

Well thanks,
I intended it to be taken with tongue in cheek.
I think I mentioned that I'd never posted before joining in here. I didn't stand in the shadows either reading for a while. I just jumped right in. Or (dusting myself off), jumped in and fell flat on my face. So this is kinda new to me. When I woke up this morning I remember thinking, "Wow, that wasn't a real good idea." Not rememering what or where I posted, or if I had made a fool out myself I decided to make that post and remove all doubt (Yea, he really is a fool!)
Alcohol really dosen't make me any odder. Just a different kind of odd.

Don't get too lost in all I say
Though at the time I really felt that way
But that was then; now it's today
I can't get off so I'm here to stay
till someone comes along and takes my place
With a different name and, yes, a different face
-Dave Mason, Feelin' alright

mommy

I could tell you the 5 stages of drunkeness I just recieved from email wanna hear? We have all been there:) Me more than once:) HEE HEE
Stage 1~ SMART~ This is when you suddennly become an expert on every subject in the known Universe.You know everything and want to pass your knowledge to anyone who will listen. At this stage you are always RIGHT. And of course the person you are talking to is very WRONG.This makes for a very interesting argument when both parties are SMART
Stage 2~GOOD LOOKING~This is when you realize that you are the BEST LOOKING person in the entire bar and that people fancy you. You can go up to a perfect stranger knowing they fancy you and really wanna talk to you. Bear in mind that you are still SMART, so you can talk to anyone about any subject under the sun:)
Stage 3~RICH~This is when you suddenly become the richest person in the world. You can buy drinks for the entire bar because you have an amoured truck full of $ parked behind the bar. You can also make bets at this stage, because of course, you are still SMART, so naturally you win all your bets. It doesn't matter how much you bet cause you are still RICH. You will also buy drinks for everyone that you fancy, because now you are the BEST LOOKING person in the world:)
Stage 4~ BULLET PROOF~You are now ready to pick fights with anyone and everyone especially those with whom you have been betting or arguing. This is because nothing can hurt you. At this point you can also go up to the partners of the people who fancy you

and challenge to a battle of wits or $. You have no fear of losing this battle because you are SMART, you are RICH and hell, you are BETTER LOOKING than they are anyway!!:)
Stage 5~INVISIBLE~ This is the Final Stage of Drunkenness. At this point you can do anything because NO ONE CAN SEE YOU! you dance on a table to impress the people who you fancy because the rest of the people in the room cannot see you. You are also invisible to the person that wants to fight you. You can walk through the street singing at the top of your lungs because noone can see or hear you and because you are still SMART you know all the words!!!!!!!!:P~

My job as a cocktail waitress adds testimony to the truth of this:)
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!
mommy

OrangeVale Bob

That's good mommy. Obviously the person that wrote that has spent a lot of time being SMART.

waiting

Hey 'mom',

I like those 5 points. Seen them on others numerous times, been there a time or two.

A lot of truth in them. Of course, when you're in them, you're oblivious to them.

waiting

Simon

I must be drinking the wrong stuff...I just get smart and then fall asleep. Sometimes I get close to being good looking but sleep usually wins.
You'll have to post some cocktail recipes mommy (sorry, I still can't help giggling when I type that)

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