What would happen to those who know and love you if you died?
Would their grief be so immense that they couldn't go on? Would they want you back so much that they simply stopped living?
Now, what would you want for them?
To remember all the good times? The bad times? Would you want friends and family who ticked you off to suffer? Would you want those who loved you the most never to love anyone else and stop their lives because you weren't around?
I realize that at first, these are very morbid thoughts. Having had to face death more then once, esp recently, I have had the opportunity to revisit these questions, and to apply, ironically enough, the golden rule.
Do unto others....
I am afraid, that in spite of my best, egotistical efforts, I am not immortal. Good thing, there are probably better candidates. I will die at some point, and so will anyone reading this.
That isn't a sad thing, or, to put it better, it doesn't have to be.
I write this because there really isn't a manual on how to handle the death of those we love, or to view the suffering of survivors of those who have passed. We all struggle to find a meaning, a search for purpose when death visits.
I find it fascinating personally to read of those who use the death of a loved one as the impetus that turned their life around. I find it equally fascinating and sad (tragic really) to read of those who couldn't go on.
So this week, I asked myself a question: What would I want everyone who ever cared for me to do in case I passed away. To never be happy again? To be pissed? Mad? Happy?
Would I want my life (or even death) to make a difference for them for good? Absolutely.
And then, my thoughts turn to those who suffer through horrific natural disasters, like the Indonesian tsunami, the Haitian earthquake, etc. For sure, the survivors need care and comfort. But would those who unexpectedly passed want the world to stop for them?
Or would they rather that those who survived lived, really lived, and moved on happy, and better off for knowing me?
Thats the whole point. This is an opinion piece of course, but I wouldn't want people to be so swallowed up in grief that they couldn't go on. I would want my life and death to be something that those who knew me could benefit from, it at all possible.
(no, I am not talking about life insurance)
You will notice there is no mention of god, or a higher power in this, because I choose to focus only on what I can control. Should god really exist, he is free to do the same. My point is really rather simple, to know that we are mortal means that we help nurture future life, even for those times when we will inevitably not be around.
It helps to deal with suffering and natural disasters better. It helps us to focus on what we can do while we are alive. It helps us to appreciate and value life, existence, and the people around us. It moves us to examine how we can help people now, practically, and to do the most important thing a human can do to another.
Love. Love and forgive. And never fail to let those around you know how you feel. Oh, don't just say it, do something, anything, that will show it.