Therapists are for other people, not me or you. (Reconsidering the EAP.)

Open mind

Is that how you've perceived therapists and counselors?

BTW, I apologize in advance for those who are currently unemployed. This thread will not do you any good unless you are able to get a job with an Employee Assistance Program (EAP).

I've often recommended (privately) that a JW having problems consider talking to a therapist. But I've NEVER considered it myself until recently.

I think about 10% of my reluctance was a little bit of Neanderthalish "pull yourself up by your boot straps and don't be a sissy" mentality.

Here's the other 90%.

Insurance.

Our insurance provider is infamous for prescribing pills first and MAYBE letting you talk to a qualified professional later. A little bit of googling today tells me that reputation is still fairly accurate. (I've got nothing against medication as long as it's carefully prescribed.)

So I've always figured that speaking with a competent mental health professional was pretty much the domain of the wealthy or the better-insured.

Then a tiny voice from the Human Resources Department where I work began whispering in my ear.

"Don't forget we have an EAP!"

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I told myself. All the EAP is going to do is provide you with a REFERRAL to some expensive psychiatrist and maybe a few minutes of hand-holding while you're on the phone. No thanks.

(BTW, if this was the Theocratic Misery School, I'd be getting counseled for too long of an introduction. Here comes the actual main point of this thread.)

EAPs actually provide REAL ACCESS TO COUNSELORS & THERAPISTS!!!

Five sessions per year/ per problem / per family member.

It's completely free and (almost) completely confidential.

Go by yourself. Offer for your spouse to go by themselves. Go together. Ask your teen if they need a qualified, confidential person to talk to.

As for the "almost" confidential thing, I did find out that California law requires the EAP provider to send you an Explanation of Benefits in the mail to your home address. The only exception is for battered spouses and the process to avoid the mailing is fairly lengthy. But, as far as your employer is concerned, it is completely confidential. They pay a premium up front and get a periodic statement showing how many employees have used the EAP. That's it.

I can't believe I have had access to this benefit for years and never utilized it until recently. The therapist I spoke with was completely down to earth and provided practical advice. I highly recommend it.

Asante!

om

mimimimi

My husband and I utilized his EAP about 19 years ago when we were both getting sober. It was the best thing we could have done. We had a great therapist - certified addictions counselor. She kept reopening our file under different family member's names so we could continue to see her as long as we needed. We went individually and together. It's a great thing! Never cost us a cent.

rebel8

Yes, EAPs are worth considering for sure.

She kept reopening our file under different family member's names so we could continue to see her as long as we needed.

That's really unethical though and she could lose her job and license.

zarco

OM - thanks for the good advice. Qualified therapists are a wonderful resource. My spouse found someone who has helped JWs and xJWs. My spouse does not tell me a lot about the sessions, but we both are so pleased with the sound advice provided by the therapist. Leaving the "truth" (I can't resist) is often a traumatic, painful and emotional experience. Again, thanks for the reminder about a good resource.

zarco

Terry

The practical thing to consider is this. Counselors are like any other profession. There are good, bad and indifferent practicioners.

You want a good one. Good ones charge more because they can justify it with results. The cheap ones are cheap for a reason.

The ones who automatically get you on pills aren't the kind I like because I'm anti-drug. (There are definitely situations where you need help from the correct drug and correct dosage.)

You want to find out the basic core philosophy of the therapist. Yes, therapists have an approach they have learned and it is based on SOMETHING.

What IS that something?

Some therapists are people you can expect to sit there while you pour your heart out and they just nod and tell you "time is up".

Others will ask questions, make suggestions and give you practical things to work on for improvement.

Each therapist is different. There is no one-size-fits-all.

Sadly, a person with a degree as a psychologist can earn a decent living just accepting insurance-paid referrals without ever doing a lick of good for anybody. That is the person you need to avoid.

How will you know? You have to do research online.

Ask around. Ask for personal references from your friends. Somebody somewhere has had an experience that was worthwhile with a therapist they can reccomend.

Otherwise, you get what you pay for. (If you are lucky.)

Don't be afraid to shop around.

Have a consultation and ask a lot of questions on the first visit. Look for a perfect fit. You want an ENGAGED therapist who acts INTERESTED in helping you.

Group sessions are often valuable. Check into that as well.

Open mind

mimimimi: Does it always have to be about you? Sorry, just teasing. Couldn't help myself with a username like yours. Hey, I'm glad your experience with the EAP worked out so well. All the best to you.

rebel8: "That's really unethical though"

Yes, I imagine that therapist was taking quite a risk. Given all the myriad other abuses and blatant wastes of money in the system, this one doesn't bother me too much though given the good outcome for mimimimi and her husband. 19 years of being sober and not burdening the system sounds like pretty good value overall. I know it's breaking the letter of the law, but the result sounds like it was worth it.

zarco: "Leaving the "truth" (I can't resist) is often a traumatic, painful and emotional experience."

I think I'm only beginning to come to terms with this.

om

zarco:

Open mind

Terry: Thanks for the good advice. The therapist I saw had a pretty hefty "standard rate" but it was all paid for by the EAP. So I got "expensive" care that was free (to me).

om

chigaimasmaro

Open Mind - thats what I'm using to counseling for myself. Its been a great benefit to me, my sanity and my wallet. Mine is eight free sessions per year and if more is counseling is needed, i can be referred to any other type of counseling (even the super expensive ones) for a severely reduced rate. If someone needs it and their job makes it available i definitely recommend it.

Therapists are for other people, not me or you. (Reconsidering the EAP.)

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