So I thought I would give you the cynics view.
We left the house and MIL has been pestering my wife to make sure she and I did the reading. To my pleasure I got to choose the bible and went for the king james!
Anyway my wife is pleased I am comming and while we are leaving I mentioned there is no way i could do this on a regular basis. Infact I would rather be picking up dog poo than getting doors slammed in my face and the dogs give me more pleasure I had a bit of an issue over the whole dub thing.
As we walk from the car to the kingdumb hell my wife mentioned that 45 minutes isn't bad in return for birthdays, xmas and easter. To my response of even if I didn't come to this I would still celebrate!
Then the bombshell, "well when you decide to go to your own church, i might come with you" Well if I wasn't so chocked up with cold I might have spluttered!
Once in the door the loveboming started! Nothing major this year which was a little surprising but then my wife was fairly fast in moving me to a seat. One thing good about the seat was that I could see the faces of most of the assembly without too much effort! More on this later
So off we go with song one hundered and something.
Then its prayers by a guy who occasionally visits the MIL when she is sick.. Pray harder and study more routine.
The comes the speaker from the georgetown bethel. He's got a camp voice, and he minces! WHOOPIE! The gaydar is going off the chart! I am sorry but I have gay friends who are more straight than this guy!
Anyway the talk revolved around Jesus, the emblems, explaining the little flock and the big flock, those in heaven and those on earth and all the usual BS plus the obligatary mis quotes from the bible with chapters missed etc etc! ( I can't remember the number but it was the one talking about faith with good deeds)
Anyway most of the congragation looked totally entralled, but one woman who looked as if she was there with her husband or bf (not sure) was not happy. Throughout the entire thing she looked highly uncomfortable while the husband seemed oblivious to what his partner was suffering.
Talk continues and get into how the small flock will be slaves of JG and its like a husband and wife relationship where the wive is subserviant! At this point I am trying not to laugh)
Anyway by the end he is repeating himself on the emblems! and he mentions the numbers for last year. 18.2m atendees with 10,580 (i think) partakers. Something tells me someone has been double dipping on the maths! Also I swear the number of partakers is up!
Prayer by one of the brother, old boy, die hard dub slips in the the saving of those who will listen while asking for salvation!
Round goes the bread
Another prayer
Round comes the wine. Cab saviginion and cheap, maybe corked by the smell.
then brother camp is back telling us how there are 3 duties we have to perform to show our faith in JG
1) Attend all meetings, and make them a priority above everything else! Whatever it may be especially during this time of spritual turmoil!
2) Spread the word! Start tomorrow at work and school. (at this poin I saw a number of the teen girls wince with horror! and a younger girl look please. Obviously she has not yet comprehended what this all means.)
3) Study more! family bible night etc etc you know the spiel!
Final song number 4!
Anyway all this was finished off with the usual free bible study routine (why they have to use the word free is beyond me as it make it sound like a dodgy sales pitch) and then something about some major discussion which I lost track of as I was already planning my exit!
Almost escaped and another lovebomb appeared. Apparently one of the MIL firends anad she said somethin that later was revealed to offend my wife. Also came out that wife didn't know who the hell she was!
When we got back to the car we chatted about the assembly and wife mentions she perfers the speeches from the younger speakers and she thought he was gay too! But thats not really allowed! Also mentioned she didnt like the new song book and the new version of no 4!
Well least it over!
Normal service resumes!