I've posted here on and off for the past couple of years, but I've never revealed my reasons behind leaving the Watchtower.
When I was younger, I was brought up in the faith (I don't call it the 'truth' anymore for reasons I will explain later). My Father had not long died (he was not a JW) my Mother had been converted in 1984.
Like many, as a young child I often found the meetings boring. I used to dread them and in particular the Conventions. However, when I was 12 (1992) an Elder took me under his wing and offered to work with me in the ministry and we became good friends. We would often do things socially as well and he really took time out to always be on call if I needed someone to talk to.
His involvement was the catalyst to me 'progressing' in the Faith. I appreciated his influence and he gave me some extremely good advice in life in general.
I was baptised in 1996 at the age of 16 and a large part of this was down to this Elder. At that point I felt on top of the world. I believed that I could achieve anything I wanted to in the Faith.
Over the following four years I followed the religion to the letter of the law. I attended at conventions,, doubled the national average in field service, read the Watchtower, did talks, did public prayers and practically ran the sound and microphones single-handedly as the sound servant was never at the KH. My ambition was to become a MS and I was certainly on the right path.
However, in 2000 I was overlooked to become a MS and someone else (who hadn't been in the faith as long as me) was appointed. This destroyed my belief and my love for the faith was over. I met someone in the 'world' and I was later reproved. Again, I took the advice that was given to turn my life around by getting back to the level I was once at, but things never recovered. The so-called 'spiritual' friends I once had deserted me and I was left with friends on the 'fringe of the congregation'.
I would often sit motionless at the meetings after that. I was disinterested and would often think about what I was going to do when I returned home. I had made friends with people who would have been classed as 'unspiritual' and we would often go clubbing and drinking.
Obviously, my conscience troubled me given the brainwashing that had taken place over the past 4-5 years.
Then in 2004 I met a 'sister'. We got married quickly yet it was the biggest mistake. I was expected to live life now as a spiritually driven married man, but I couldn't be untrue to myself but I thought I was doing the right thing. During that time I researched the JW Faith via the internet and found many inconsistancies. She had also turned her back on the faith following marriage. We had a little girl in 2006 and we eventually separated in 2007. My ex-wife also had a strict upbringing with her Grandmother and following our separation her Grandmother and so-called spiritual JW family helped my ex-wife block contact between me and my daughter for 10 months.
I will continue this in part two.