1After this I looked, and there before me was a plate standing empty in heaven. And the voice I had first heard speaking to me like a trumpet said, "Come up here, and I will show you what must take place after this plate is filled." 2 At once I was in the Spirit, and there before me was a throne in heaven with someone sitting on it. 3 And the one who sat there had the appearance of farina and quinoa. A sauce, resembling marinara with garlic, encircled the plate. 4 Surrounding the plate were twenty-four other plates, and seated in front of them were twenty-four elders [Greek pastafarians - noun.] They were dressed in white and had forks of gold in their hands. 5 From the plate came aroma of basil and onion, rumblings and peals of thunder from the bellies of the twenty-four. Before the plate, seven bowls were glistening. These are the seven spirits [a] of the Flying High One. 6 Also before the plates there were what looked like a sea of glasses, clear as crystal, and filled with port wine.
In and around the pasta and sauce and wine, were four cooks scurrying about, and they were covered with eyes, in front and in back. 7 The first living cook was like a lion, the second was like an ox, the third had a face like a man, the fourth was like a flying eagle. 8 Each of the four living creatures had six utensils for serving and was covered with an apron all around, a towel on his arm, carrying his bowl of sauce. Day and night they never stop saying: "Holy, holy, holy is the Flying Spaghetti Monster, who was, and is, and is to come bringing the wine of life." 9 Whenever the living cooks give glory, honor and thanks to him who sits on the throne and who lives for ever and ever waving his fabulous noodly appendages, 10 the twenty-four elders fall down before him who sits on the throne, and worship him who lives for ever and ever. They lay their plates before the throne and say:
11 "You are worthy, our Lord and Pasta, to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all paste, and by your will it were created and have their being. This is the meaning of life; to love, live and respect the great Pasta in the sky."
My favorite version!
Just think. If that insane man on Patmos in the first century had envisioned Pasta instead of insane visions of God - we would all be Pastafarians today! We would all be worshipping the great Pasta in the sky as we should be! Oh, ye mislead one's of the earth - give heed while time remains for you - before the FSM dips you in sauce and fire forever and ever! Repent!