I have seen many jw teens who can't behave properly in the outside world or won't go out alone unless they give detailed report to their families.In addition,they give the impression that they can't be on their own unless dad or mom is near them.Correct me if I'm wrong but that's what I think....
Why are jw children so parent depended?
by XPeterX 8 Replies latest watchtower bible
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teel
The adult JW is dependent too... the WTS nurtures dependency, "independent" is a dirty word. The best JW is one who can make no decisions on his own, who needs an exhaustive list of what to do in every minor setting.
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ziddina
XPeterX, what you have observed - and what teel has described, also - occurs partially because the WTBTS 'infantilizes' its members... Works actively at keeping them in a retarded state of development...
Te WTBTS' antipathy towards education results in educational retardation, its subtle sowing of seeds of distrust (which causes a "Gestapo-state" mentality of reporting one's suspicions to the elders) results in emotional retardation (as well as the horrific images of death and destruction of even the smallest unbelieving child at 'Armageddon'...), and its absolute control over the average JW's life and thought processes results in spiritual retardation...
Such crippling of its members makes controlling such members SO MUCH EASIER for the WTBTS...
Zid
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designs
Man-child, perpetual adolescence.. Cloistered communities create the problem.
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shopaholic
VERY TRUE.
The issue is that in the JW world you are not considered an adult unless you are married or at least 45 years old. Before then, everything is "Have you talked this over with your parents?", "What did your parents say?"...even if its just taking a weekend trip.
And if your parents are not witnesses or if live in a different town, then its your "spiritual parents" I had several people over the years offer to be my spiritual parents and I've always told them no. Of course, they ran and told the elders who had a talk with me because I must be up to something if I don't want spiritual parents. I simply repeated "I have parents. I don't need another set of them."
Sometimes I wish I'd known that I was an adult when I became an adult...probably would have left a lot sooner.
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cult classic
OMG ! good thread XPETERX, got to echoe you guys' thoughts on this.
Me and my sibs talk about this a lot. How behind emotionally we felt in our twenties. I married at 25 and went to Bethel and the older ones there always called the under 45 group (married or not) "kids". I was 19 in the congregation and "the friends" went ballistic (sp?) when I started calling them by their first names.
In "the world" when you hit 18 you are treated like an adult. You make adult decisions about education, living arrangements, jobs etc. The whole goal of the witnesses is to keep you in a childlike state so that you don't expose them for their immaturity and power trippin'. It's all about control. I recently told my dad that the witnesses act like children and he was so offended. Well it's true!
Shopaholic: "Sometimes I wish I'd known that I was an adult when I became an adult...probably would have left a lot sooner." ----tell me about it!
I know for sure if I had confidence in my young adulthood I would have been outta there sooner. My parents never ceased to come up with ways to let us know that we were "not grown" and if we were to strike out on our own we were "gonna bump our heads"................some parenting huh?
Cult Classic
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man in black
and if the children actually go out and do something by themselves (such as attending, and graduating from college, or buying a house) and they succeed, nothing is said.
But if something goes wrong, "OH joy, see how Jehovah disciplines you if you try and do things by yourself"? I've seen this many, many times.
I personally knew one sister who was in her 40's, she got divoriced and went to college. her mother and family actually told her it was a bad idea since the end was sooo close .
Her job paid a large chunk of the tuition, and she got a bachelors degree in Human Resources.
The grief that this lady put up with from her family was sickening and after she got her degree nothing was said about it.
I spoke to her apostate ex husband later, and he mentioned that one of the main reasons he left is because of the constant influence from her
helicopter family.
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teel
and if the children actually go out and do something by themselves and they succeed, nothing is said
That's the better case. I ofter heard JWs say about such ones, that Satan is helping them to convince them to stay out in the world. You can't win against a cult, anything happens it can be twisted to support their beliefs.
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WTWizard
I notice that too many witlesses are staying with their parents until long after age 21. And not for economic reasons, either. They are staying with their parents so they can all pio-sneer, or keep an eye on each other. This continues until the "children" are well up in their 30s, or even older. Not to mention, the Filthful and Disgraceful Slavebugger treats everyone like dependent children.
While I do not favor an absolute age to leave one's parents, I feel that children should be able to live on their own, at least in a college environment, by the time they reach their 18th birthday. If everything permits and the children are not handicapped, they ought to be exposed to longer and longer periods on their own starting at around 12 (and with decreasing adult supervision). By age 18, under favorable conditions, they should be able to live in a college environment and by 21, completely on their own. While exceptions should be made for economic reasons or if the child is handicapped, they should NOT be made simply because of a stupid religion.